Favorite films

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Recent reviews

  • Nightmare Beach

    Nightmare Beach


    This is the kind of movie that will make you feel like going to the beach. Well, I guess in my case it would be the lake or Schlitterbahn. You don’t swim in the gulf near Galveston, unless you’re in the market for a Portuguese man o’ war burn, a broken beer bottle slicing you open, or a bad case of necrotizing fasciitis.

    God damn Florida Men. Pretty ballsy to purposefully electrocute a person who’s sitting on the same motorcycle…

  • X-Men: Apocalypse

    X-Men: Apocalypse


    Not as bad as I remember, but still dumb. I don’t like how Magneto is shoehorned into this movie, but I guess I’d rather have that than no Magneto.

Popular reviews

  • Jetsons: The Movie

    Jetsons: The Movie


    "Do not put your finger into this hole."

    George looks into the camera, then raises and lowers his eyebrows.

  • The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It

    The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It


    Weirdly pleasant? Not as scary as the previous two, but it also felt less rollercoastery. It wasnt set piece after set piece. Just kind of a nice little horror mystery with an interesting premise and a few clever set pieces. There are even a few great shots and cuts that I could point out. The camera traveling through the kennel house near the beginning was nice, and I liked the cut between the skeptical lawyer being invited over by the…