I am an actual skeleton. I am an actual lord. I am an actual skelordton.

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Recent reviews

  • Godzilla vs. Kong

    Godzilla vs. Kong


    The plot followed pretty much the exact outline I had made for it from before the first trailer even dropped and it's pretty much exactly what you want from a Godzilla vs Kong movie. Human plots and performances are still a little weak, but Brian Tyree Henry, Alexander Skarsgard, and Rebecca Hall all definitely brought a bit more charisma to their performances compared to the front cast of previous films so it's not as tiring watching them do petty human…

  • Willy's Wonderland

    Willy's Wonderland


    Nic Cage has a clearly sexual relationship with a pinball machine and some energy-sodas as a bunch of teens try to exposition to him. Pretty goofy film overall, some interesting things peppered in between a lot of amateurish or just bad camera work/writing. Every action scene has this still-camera shot with a camera-shake aftereffect layered on top that comes across as just kinda silly. Reminiscent of those "faux-HXC" vids on youtube that people like Mega64 would do while screaming PARKOUR.…

Popular reviews

  • Penis Boy

    Penis Boy

    Shit sucks.

    There is no skeleton in this film.

  • The Little Things

    The Little Things


    Denzel and Rami are alright in this crime film. The movie isn't really about the mystery it feels, and more about how crime and not knowing things affects the psyche of the officers involved in the case. Dialogue is mostly analogous to what you'd find in pretty much any cop procedural drama. Editing was a bit jarring throughout the film, as no shot would be allowed to play out for more than 3 seconds before the camera would jump to…