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  • Scooby-Doo

    Scooby-Doo

    ★★★

    i ain't never seen four pretty best friends. one of them's gotta be a himbo, two them gotta be lesbians with a subtextual romantic storyline, and one's gotta be a stoner with a dog as a best friend.

  • Scream 2

    Scream 2

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    laurie metcalf and timothy olyphant being the killers in this is a classic example of milf/dilf solidarity

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  • Almost Famous

    Almost Famous

    ★★★★

    future interviewer: so back in 2018 you said, and i quote, ‘billy crudup is so hot , i want him to bend me over a 7/11 bathroom sink and do origami with my guts'. can you elaborate on that?

  • Ocean's Eight

    Ocean's Eight

    ★★★

    CATE BLANCHETT WEAR A PANTSUIT AND RUN ME OVER WITH YOUR MOTORCYCLE CHALLENGE