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  • The Golden Voyage of Sinbad

    The Golden Voyage of Sinbad

    β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    You could grate cheese on that cyclops centaur’s abs!

  • Eddie and the Cruisers

    Eddie and the Cruisers

    β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    Never has there been a more accurate depiction of the bass player as the frustrated learner-guitar passenger.

    JUST KIDDING

    Really though, I’ve spent 36 years thinking that Michael Pare sucked, but I just hadn’t seen Eddie And The Cruisers - now I get why people keep giving this fucker work. This movie rules.

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  • The Babysitter

    The Babysitter

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    Oh, another movie made by a dude in his forties where 12 year-olds do stuff like quote The Godfather Part 2 and reference Star Trek: The Next Generation. Goodie.

  • Fatal Attraction

    Fatal Attraction

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    Can I get a comprehensive list of movies that can be synopsised as "Michael Douglas should've kept his dingus in his pants"