John Tucker Must Die ★★½

In WHAT universe is Jesse Metcalfe brothers with Penn Badgley?! Jesse Metcalfe is not and was never hot. Is this a controversial opinion? Everyone in this movie is at LEAST 30, right? 

Man this movie does not age well. “Being a vegan teen activist is code for easy.” Anti-vaxxer Jenny McCarthy as Brittany Snow’s mom. Ashanti’s inability to act!! Brittany Snow being “invisible.” The way John acts on estrogen bc he’s more “feminine” - women be emotional amiriiiiite? Clearly written by a man. And the girls turn on each other at the drop of the hat!

Using “Dirty Little Secret” by the All American Rejects! How fitting, lol. I’m sure the music supervisor strained a muscle thinking up that one. And the fashion! Jeans with back pockets going down the leg, ponchos, soooo many hair scarves, the famous j. Crew patchwork skirt? I meannnn.