Dylan has written 83 reviews for films rated ★★½ .

  • The Boss Baby: Family Business

    The Boss Baby: Family Business


    Unforgivable sin to recast Tobey Maguire, especially on the cusp of his resurgence.

  • The Ice Road

    The Ice Road


    History Channel IP is the future of cinema.

  • 2 Fast 2 Furious

    2 Fast 2 Furious


    People who claim that this franchise has drastically morphed into the absurd since the first few installments conveniently forget the piece of sci-fi weaponry used to disable cars and even the ejector seats! 

    I still don’t get the critical reappraisal going on now for this movie, it feels too at odds with the souped up Miami Vice episode it wants to be and the ludicrously (eh?) fun cartoon that it actually is to be anything but a complete mess. Not enough Mark Boone Junior either.

  • Tom Clancy's Without Remorse

    Tom Clancy's Without Remorse


    Seems more like an unnecessary experiment to test Michael B Jordan’s bankability as a leading man than anything else; a pretty languid thriller that somehow also feels primed to air in a slot on TNT before a basketball game. Cold War scheming and murky action sequences are just more bearable in 15 minute chunks punctuated by Carl’s Jr. ads than they are in one long block.

  • The Woman in the Window

    The Woman in the Window


    Succeeds mostly when graded on the algorithmically charged sliding scale of forgettable Netflix originals; I'll happily take ten women in windows over a single thing neither seen or heard. There's enough of an attempt to be a more probing update of Rear Window that will hold your interest, but it feels as though whatever examination of the triggers and effects of isolation has been chopped and screwed to be more digestible for the average Netflix viewer that won't think about the movie a second time after viewing. But still...sliding scale, so even a defanged De Palma has a little bite. 


  • Two Distant Strangers

    Two Distant Strangers


    Incredibly exploitative in a way that almost washes all of its good intentions away, but that narrative device is so effective at conveying all the frustration and helplessness that has boiled over recently that it almost warrants a watch.

  • Mortal Kombat

    Mortal Kombat


    A wonderfully corrosive sugar high if you’re willing to stoop down to its level and play ball with the thinnest plots and characters. Any sense of logic is completely shredded in service of beatdowns straight out of the R-rated Power Rangers movie that never was. Feels like a lost guilty pleasure right out of the 2000s.

  • My Octopus Teacher

    My Octopus Teacher


    One man’s midlife crisis is another man’s nature documentary, or however that saying goes.

  • Yes-People




  • Michael



    Am I crazy for thinking Travolta is quite good in this batshit road movie about a randy angel? Few actors have that weird energy needed to sell wanting to fight a bull by simply whispering “battle”. It’s a lost art really.

  • Godzilla Raids Again

    Godzilla Raids Again


    They really didn’t waste any time steering the franchise away from ecological lamentation to monster smack downs; not even ten minutes in and Godzilla and Anguirus are in a full blown shoving match. There’s still some attempt to treat these giant reptiles as devastating forces akin to weapons of war, but there’s not nearly enough focus on it to make an impact. Just a real lack of focus overall, which just screams that this was rushed without a clear grasp of what made the first so engaging. Disappointing, but I have higher hopes for later installments.

  • Shimmer Lake

    Shimmer Lake


    Nothing is really exciting or ingenious about the reverse linear structure here. It simply exists as a neat little trick to disguise a pretty competent crime film. No real rhyme or reason, it’s just there. The whole thing just seems so dense and not in the fun way. Just a big brick of a movie. Just existing, waiting for you to try and engage with it and do all the heavy lifting in terms of theme or substance. Pretty great gag involving the deputy though, I'll give them that.