• Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay

    Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay

    ★★★½

    Night of the Living Exposition

    Why on earth does this awesome film have so much pointless exposition? Seriously, who the fuck cares about exposition in a V-Cinema film where the objective is to cram as much awesomeness into the short runtime as possible. The exposition doesn't even do a good job at explaining why half of the random things that happen actually happen... It's pointless! Just let me enjoy the nonsensical absurdity, there is no way to or reason to…

  • Yakuza Ladies 9

    Yakuza Ladies 9

    ★★★

    Yep... They Sure Are Yakuza Ladies

    Just like 'Yakuza Ladies 8', 'Yakuza Ladies 9' had no English subtitles so I had no idea what the fuck was going on. Despite having no clue what was going on, I enjoyed 'Yakuza Ladies 9' more than 'Yakuza Ladies 8' because it had a few scenes that wacky scenes that made me laugh. There were also a couple of scenes that were unintentionally funny (overacting) and got a laugh out of me.

    'Yakuza…

  • Asleep

    Asleep

    ★★½

    Watch This and You Will Fall Asleep

    I hated sleep because the dialogue made little to no sense and came across as pretentious, arty, drivel. I was venting about the film to my friend and he pointed out that the subtitles had been auto-translated from Chinese to English. I probably would've picked up on this a lot earlier if it wasn't for the style and mood of the film... I seriously thought that subtitles were intentionally nonsensical and pretentious.

    I…

  • Mark of the Devil

    Mark of the Devil

    ★★★★

    No God Or Kings. Only Man.

    It's so insane to think that the witch trials actually happened... how on earth is it even possible to achieve such levels of blind idiocy and ruthless evil? 8 Million people were killed over the course of three centuries (according to this film) we really do have it easy now. The closest thing we have to being accused of being a witch is being cancelled... at least they don't burn you at the stake…

  • Yakuza Ladies 8

    Yakuza Ladies 8

    ★★★

    Only Five More Left... I Made It Further Than Shima Iwashita

    There were no English subtitles and I couldn't find a plot synopsis anywhere so I had no idea what the fuck was going on... then again, 'Yakuza Ladies 8' was written by Nakajima so I doubt it would make any sense even if it had subtitles. 'Yakuza Ladies 8' was decent enough and managed to escape being the worst in the franchise... nothing will surpass 'Yakuza Ladies Decision' as…

  • Almost Transparent Blue

    Almost Transparent Blue

    ★★★½

    Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll

    In many ways 'Almost Transparent Blue' feels ahead of it's time. There is little to no narrative and it shares the same carefree, adolescent sprit as 'Kids'. Unlike 'Kids', 'Almost Transparent Blue' has a very dreamy feel to it and could take place over the course of one day or one month. In this film time has no meaning, the only thing that matters is having a good time and vibing to American rock music.

    The…

  • Psychomania

    Psychomania

    ★★★★

    Motorcyclemania

    Nothing in 'Psychomania' is ever explained and that's because nothing makes any sense. The leader of the Living Dead Motorcycle gang (Tom) is obsessed with death and wants to know why his father mysteriously died. There is a locked room in his house that is magical... it's never explained why. Tom's father died inside the magical room because he wasn't strong enough... which basically means that if you don't believe that you will return after killing yourself then you…

  • Yakuza Ladies: Decision

    Yakuza Ladies: Decision

    ★★½

    Who’s Decision Was It to Let Nakajima Direct Another One of These?

    I really don't know why I expected 'Yakuza Ladies: Decision' to be the best film in the series... IT'S THE FUCKING WORST!!! Nakajima has directed the most mediocre films in the franchise and 'Yakuza Ladies: Decision' is by far the most mediocre of the lot. How is it even possible make a Yakuza film that stars Kiyoshi Nakajo, Riki Takeuchi and Ren Osugi so mind numbingly boring?!?

    The…

  • Antarctica

    Antarctica

    ★★★★½

    Man's Best Friend

    Calling 'Antarctica' the saddest film I have ever seen would be accurate but wouldn't do the film justice, calling 'Antarctica' the saddest thing that I have ever experienced in my entire life would. I cried 15 times while watching 'Antarctica'... there have been family deaths that didn't hit me nearly as hard as this film did. I love animals and love dogs more than anything in the entire world, if I see a human die then I…

  • Yakuza Ladies Revisited 5

    Yakuza Ladies Revisited 5

    ★★★

    Nakajima Revisited

    'Yakuza Ladies Revisited 5' is a lot better than Nakajima's previous entry in the 'Yakuza Ladies' series (Yakuza Ladies Revisited) which was by far the lowest point in the series. I'm glad to see that Nakajima has since learnt that the 'Yakuza Ladies' series is about the Yakuza ladies and therefore needs to feature them as the protagonists rather than some punk with an attitude problem.

    'Yakuza Ladies Revisited 5' has no English subtitles which sucked because the…

  • Bat Pussy

    Bat Pussy

    ★★★

    Super Sleaze

    It's like John Waters directed a porno while on acid... I'm not sure if I like it but it makes me feel something... definitely not horny... somewhat scared and very confused. The dude is 100% gay: he can't get hard, keeps wanting to stick it in her ass, repeatedly says that he wants to sleep with men, his ass comes awfully close to the dildo and he repeatedly says that "I'm gonna suck your pussy"... dude is out…

  • Affair in the Snow

    Affair in the Snow

    ★★★

    MY FIRST YOSHIDA... it was decent

    I didn't go into 'Affair in the Snow' with any real expectations but it is a Yoshida film so it's safe to say that I was disappointed by the underwhelming experience. 'Affair in the Snow' is a gorgeously shot film that takes full advantage of the incredible, snow drenched landscape and there were multiple shots that took full advantage of the darkness.

    Other than the superb cinematography, 'Affair in the Snow' didn't really have…