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  • Jurassic Thunder

    Jurassic Thunder

    ½

    Watching Jurassic Thunder is like drinking period blood mouthwash, it’s just not as good as it looks. What I want to know is who funded this shit, Tara Reid? Is this some kind of real life version of The Producers? You might think, oh this will be fun like Birdemic or VelociPastor, but no. Those films had respect for the B genre, this one is just like what Ian Malcolm says to John Hammond in Jurassic Park, “You read what…

  • Ouija Shark

    Ouija Shark

    ½

    Forget about Parasite and Uncut Gems, Ouija Shark is the cinematic masterpiece that you need to be watching in 2020. It brings together not only the greatest natural predator the world has ever seen, but also the greatest supernatural force the world has ever seen, the ouija board. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “This is just another ghost shark movie like Shark Exorcist or.. Ghost Shark!” But no, you’d be dead wrong. This work of art is drowning in…

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  • Marona's Fantastic Tale

    Marona's Fantastic Tale

    ★★★★

    Humans don’t deserve dogs.

    The opening scene in Marona’s Fantastic Tale is Marona, the dog, getting hit by a car while her teenage owner cries for her. From there it only gets more depressing as Marona tells us her life story. It’s a realistic story that appreciates dogs for.. Just being dogs; and the gravity and compassion in which we love animals, or how some don’t. It really reminds me of The Plague Dogs, but a lot more colorful.

    Visually…

  • Tenet

    Tenet

    ★★½

    TeNeT is like Christopher Nolan jerking off with his own brain, into his own brain.

    I think I know what premise of Tenet was? John David Washington is trying to figure out what the antagonists are doing and attempting to stop them. The antagonists are trying to complete “the algorithm” so that they could bring the future to the past to start World War 3 because the future Earth has been destroyed by climate change. The issue ,we find out,…

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  • Kong: Skull Island

    Kong: Skull Island

    ★★★★

    I love Kaiju films and Kong Skull Island can stand with the best of them. It’s a great blend of light character work, solid action, amazing SFX, fun cinematography, and the entire film is written so tongue-in-cheek. Kong is basically candy for movie lovers; It’s just so much fun. I hope Godzilla vs. Kong holds up to this.

  • A Bug's Life

    A Bug's Life

    ★★★★

    Bernie Sanders’ favorite film and the best Pixar film, or at least A Bug’s Life has the best themes; class consciousness and socialism. The ants representing the proletariat, being forced to gather and give products to the oppressive grasshoppers, the bourgeois. Hopper explains, "Those puny little ants outnumber us 100-to-1, and if they figure that out, there goes our way of life. It’s not about food, it’s about keeping those ants in line.” I can’t think of a film to…