• The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

    The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    What do the giant spiders eat? Giant flies?
    What did Smaug eat? Gold?

    These dwarves would be truly fucked without Bilbo.
    It's cool to see Gandalf be genuinely powerful in combat.

    84/100

  • The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Is Gandalf limited to one ultimate use of power per fight? He goes from splitting rocks in half to lighting pine cones on fire. Sure does know how to make an entrance though.

    I don't know if it's the fantasy facet, the peacefulness, the colourful and naturistic scenery, the dangers and mystery that lie outside it or the simplistic and socially (yet not technologically) advanced society within it but the Shire is extremely attractive. I want to live there.
    The Gollum riddle scene is phenomenal.

    86/100

  • Reservoir Dogs

    Reservoir Dogs

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Was Mr Pink a professional? He didn't mention it.
    I'm genuinely pissed off that the weasley Steve Buscemi character was the only one to survive.

    In the average movie standoff you expect (or know) that the main characters will survive. In a Tarantino movie standoff it's the opposite.

    76/100

  • Punch-Drunk Love

    Punch-Drunk Love

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    An Adam Sandler character with genuine depth? Nice.

    One of the most beautifully shot movies I've watched. I firmly believe that every socially anxious man has a breaking point that if reached will turn them into a stonecold badass that's unstoppable in combat.

    74/100

  • Fight Club

    Fight Club

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Why the fucks Brad Pitt's neck and arm so long on the movie's cover?

    My friend and I started up a fight club at our school. It went well for a while but due to lack of willingness to fight and an existential crisis regarding which one of us was the imaginary friend we decided to shut it down and opt down a less hardcore route in trust club. One thing persistent in both clubs though was how deadset against consumerism they were (as well as narcissism).

    94/100

  • Dead Poets Society

    Dead Poets Society

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The acting touch, had the late Neil Perry,
    He looked so much, like a young Jim Carrey,
    Unjust what befell, the poor John Keating,
    Mr. Nolan got horny, when he gave that beating.

    That suicide twist was seriously unexpected. Everything that followed it was phenomenal (infuriating, upsetting and wholesome).

    72/100

  • The Shawshank Redemption

    The Shawshank Redemption

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Just goes to show that you can always find success in life, even after being wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to a brutal prison, so long as you have hope…. as well as genius level banking skills and prison guards that are too stupid to check behind a suspiciously large poster.

    "“Hope” is the thing with feathers", Brooks was forced to let his thing with feathers go. I hate to agree with such a common opinion but this is probably the best, if not one of the best, movies ever made.

    98/100

  • Synecdoche, New York

    Synecdoche, New York

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "Why did you do it?"; holy shit, has he died and, in some form of psychological afterlife, is trying to fulfil his life ambitions/ correct his life regrets/ come to a worthwhile conclusion on life only to repeatedly find that he is limited only to his own perception (from when he was alive)? Is this a demonstration on how we as humans are nothing more than our own perceptions and how the universe around us including all logic, religion, history…

  • Casino

    Casino

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Is Nicky the biggest alpha male in cinema or is Nicky the biggest alpha male in cinema? The guy kisses Ginger for a solid 5 seconds before pulling her down for a blowjob.

    Seriously though, I was gutted that Nicky would betray Sam like that, he seemed like such a good guy up until then.

    84/100

  • Pulp Fiction

    Pulp Fiction

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Was it not obvious to Jules and Vincent that they needed to clean the car, wash themselves and change their clothes? Did they really need Winston "The Wolf" Wolf to drive all the way out to tell them?

    Definitely ain't Tarantino's best.

    84/100

  • Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

    Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I wonder if Tarantino was trying to troll us with all them feet or if he was genuinely just horny while making this.

    This is one cool fucking movie. It takes a while to get into the flow of things but once you do it gets really enjoyable.

    76/100

  • Training Day

    Training Day

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Snoop Dogg in a movie about drugs? Nice.

    Denzel Washington made Alfonzo so intimidating that I apologized to the character 5 times during the coarse of the movie and thanked him for his time when it finished.

    74/100