• Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar

    Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar

    ★★★½

    Boy this was a real suicide drink of comedic flavors.

  • Bring It On

    Bring It On

    ★★★½

    How did we ever let them convince us these hairstyles were okay?

  • Hook

    Hook

    ★★★★★

    Folks say Princess Bride is the perfect film but no, it’s this.

  • The Mask of Zorro

    The Mask of Zorro

    ★★★★

    Five stars for Hopkins’ prowess with a whip. Minus one star for Banderas making Zeta-Jones naked with his sharpened battle phallus.

  • Paddington 2

    Paddington 2

    ★★★★★

    Two follow-up questions:
    1. Who knew Hugh Grant had range?
    2. Has there ever been a better joke than “Exit bear, pursued by an actor”?

  • Paddington

    Paddington

    ★★★★★

    This movie has NO BUSINESS BEING SO GOOD

  • Highlander

    Highlander

    I was definitely expecting Braveheart. This was not Braveheart. I’ve also never seen Braveheart.

  • Wonder Woman 1984

    Wonder Woman 1984

    The year 1984 saw a number of bombings, mass shootings, brutal pogroms, terrorist attacks, political assassinations, widespread famine, drug and disease epidemics, the most deadly industrial disaster in history which killed over 23,000 people, and imperialistic geopolitical ops whose effects have perpetuated ongoing violence to this day. But evidently that number just wasn’t high enough to keep Diana from hanging out at the mall.

  • Jingle All the Way

    Jingle All the Way

    I h8 the nineties

  • The Grinch

    The Grinch

    ★★★

    Reasonably charming if you go in with utterly negative expectations like I did. Bonus points for normalizing loving and functional single-mom households.

  • Die Hard

    Die Hard

    ★★★★★

    How did I wait thirty years to watch Alan Rickman play history’s sexiest villain? 12/10 would follow into a life of crime.

  • You've Got Mail

    You've Got Mail

    ★★★★★

    It’s taken me twenty years of regular viewings to realize Nelson Fox is not played by Dr. Phil.