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  • Remote

    Remote

    ★★½

    This is a movie I remember watching enough as a kid that my mom got totally sick of it. I was 5 when it came out, she worked in a video store, and Home Alone 2 was my favorite movie. Charles Band was clearly gunning for my viewership with this blatant knockoff that could have easily been called Model Home Alone. I wouldn’t call this a family film because it has no interest in entertaining anyone past middle school. It…

  • Return of the Killer Tomatoes!

    Return of the Killer Tomatoes!

    ★★★★★

    This is one of the zaniest, most unexpectedly brilliant sequels of all time. Before “meta” was a thing, this movie was doing it. An insane evolution of an already insane concept, this movie 100% goes for it. It’s obvious here that George Clooney is on the cusp of superstardom as he steals every moment he can. The climax is bonkers. It does one of the most popular Wayne’s World gags years earlier, and frankly funnier. At least that’s my choice (and the choice of a new generation).

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  • Loqueesha

    Loqueesha

    You can tell this is by an out-of-touch old white dude because it’s about someone getting famous on the fucking radio

  • The Wizard of Gore

    The Wizard of Gore

    ★★

    There's a scene in Juno in which the titular character concedes that this movie is infinitely better than Suspiria.

    After seeing this film, I now understand that this represented the integral point in that film where Juno revealed herself to be an absolute fucking idiot who just THOUGHT she was smart and quirky.

    I’ll honestly probably like the remake better. Crispin Glover elevates everything.