• A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge

    A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge

    ★★★★½

    Well, it happened. I watched a Freddy movie and then had honest-to-god Freddy dreams and they were legitimately creepy, creepier than any of the movies, honestly. Brains are weird.

  • Malignant

    Malignant

    ★★★★

    I have no idea what to say about this but holy fuck I had FUN. Best police station massacre since Maniac Cop 2. Best plot about *redacted* since *redacted*

    I don’t know if this is intentionally or accidentally brilliant but it really won me over and I am so glad that James Wan seems to be done with fuckin’ ghost movies for now because this is much closer to what I’ve been wanting from him for ages.

  • Vampire Virus

    Vampire Virus

    ★★★½

    This was a hell of a surprise. Based on the rather generic cover and title as well as not one single recognizable name anywhere across the credits, I had no expectation for this. I was quickly taken aback by a beautifully lit, well-shot movie, complete with a 2:35:1 aspect ratio, as well as a masterfully done synth score that also has some fun sax work. This all feels like an intentional style and not a tribute to a bygone age,…

  • Psychos in Love

    Psychos in Love

    ★★★½

    I…actually thought I posted this review last week. Weird.

    Anyway, I can see why people overwhelmingly hate this. It’s cheap, too long, and meta before meta was really a thing. But I like the leads, it’s too goofy to make me truly mad, and there’s a heart to it that I can’t ignore. I also love the score that sounds like an old DOS game. This is dumb, but it’s dumb for me specifically.

  • Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

    Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

    ★★★★

    Damn, this is some good stuff. Really makes up for the “meh” feeling Black Widow left with me. I am so happy Americans are being given a gateway to the greatness of Tony Leung.

  • Crimewave

    Crimewave

    ★★★★½

    Who knows how I’d feel about this movie if I didn’t grow up obsessively rewatching it with my dad, but for all the negativity that Raimi/Campbell/Coens experienced making this, I still think it’s a hell of a comedy, a slightly more extreme tribute to the work of the Stooges with some wild performances and a few truly inspired setpieces. Still, if it had starred Bruce in the lead as originally intended we’d probably be looking at that full five-stars from me.

  • BASEketball

    BASEketball

    ★★★★½

    I never really do the “guilty pleasure” thing because I don’t feel guilt for having fun as long as nobody is being hurt. That said, this movie is probably the closest I’d get to using that title. I’ve seen it a billion times and the good jokes still land, but there’s a lot of stuff that punches down, particularly at gay and trans people, that just doesn’t fly now. Still, lines like “if you want a unanimous decision, you’ll have…

  • Videodrome

    Videodrome

    ★★★★★

    I’m not sure what it says about me that I think this miserable, impenetrable crowd non-pleaser that gives the viewer no answers is basically a perfect movie. With each viewing, with each passing year, it makes more sense to me and feels more relevant. Not even James Woods can blow it, in what was basically the perfect role for him.

    These companies really won’t stop until they can literally just morph us into whatever kind of consumer they want though, eh?

  • Candyman

    Candyman

    ★★★★½

    Admittedly I’m due for one more watch because god damn I was tired, but this really succeeded. I did figure out the connections to the original beforehand just by wondering how I would write a sequel to it, but that does not hurt this movie one bit. The ending may feel a bit abrupt, but god damn is it kinda fucking awesome. Props all around to Nia DaCosta for not holding back here on any level.

  • Cannibal! The Musical

    Cannibal! The Musical

    ★★★★★

    Nothing says bliss like flying halfway across the country and randomly watching an old favorite with two of the best people in the world. What a nice little vacation.

  • Army of Darkness

    Army of Darkness

    ★★★★★

    Still incredible fun with an old hero in a new genre. The comedy is hysterical, the action is swashbuckling and joyous, the music is classic, and the edits are many (I still prefer the TV cut). Now that I think about it, this is probably the one movie I have seen more than any other just based on how young I discovered it. I maintain though that if this came out today it would get a PG-13 with no problem. Jack Valenti was a piece of shit.

  • Evil Dead II

    Evil Dead II

    ★★★★★

    You could truly still have an amazing movie entirely comprised of Bruce Campbell’s face reacting to things in this.