• Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

    Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

    It’s fun to see Cabin in the Woods done earlier by people with actual affection for the genre. It’s nice that this came out in 2006 and was able to hit before the Obama era with its “that just happened”s and its epic bacons. It’s easy to imagine a version of this movie released 3-4 years later that’s just completely unwatchable. But they got it in before the buzzer. Good on them. Unfortunately 2006 is a double edged sword and there’s a shot of a murder victim where it’s basically impossible not to notice that he’s wearing bootcut jeans.

  • Threads


    Truffaut’s real quiet all of a sudden...

  • All the Colors of the Dark

    All the Colors of the Dark

    *extremely Italianly* “Reechard”

  • Space Jam

    Space Jam

    Close to unwatchable and yet I watched it and did a full in-character commentary that's up on the Rude Tales patreon. It is unclear why I did this.


  • The Hospital

    The Hospital

    I’ll watch George C. Scott in anything so you can imagine my relief when it came time to watch him in this pretty funny movie that I mostly liked.

  • Thomasine & Bushrod

    Thomasine & Bushrod

    Unbelievably charming. I think it was a smart move to set it in 1911 but make it look especially like 1974. Even some of the villains are hippies. It underlines how little the abysmal racial dynamics in America had changed. If you remade this in 2021 I think it would be fine to give them phones.

  • The China Syndrome

    The China Syndrome

    I will never forgive George Costanza’s boss for what he did to Jack Lemmon.

    EDIT: Okay apparently he just died last year. I will forgive but I will not forget.

  • California Split

    California Split

    Beautiful very funny movie that is -like much great art- secretly about my alcoholism.

    “Why don’t you go home?”
    “Sure, where do you live?”

  • Zack Snyder's Justice League

    Zack Snyder's Justice League

    Haven’t seen it but here’s how all of the Justice League have sex:

    Batman: He lights candles and leaves tantric books out in conspicuous places so you know he can go for hours but you’re looking at your watch a few minutes in. There’s a framed photo of him and Sting at a Planet Hollywood that you saw in the entrance and you focus on your memory of that so you can cum imagining he’s Sting.

    Superman: Missionary and you…

  • A Quiet Place in the Country

    A Quiet Place in the Country

    Early on it felt like it might’ve been an influence on both Austin Powers and the Butthole Surfers. As the movie progressed it moved further away from that, but that’s okay. It’s not like I’m perfect. Can’t fault a movie for starting strong and then turning into sort of a bummer, what with all this gifted kid discourse on twitter. It’s getting so you can’t even walk down the street!

  • Black Coal, Thin Ice

    Black Coal, Thin Ice

    Sometimes you watch a film set in the Heilongjiang Province in 2004 and your big takeaway is that you really miss Pittsburgh in 2006. It just happens like that sometimes. Cinema is so powerful.

  • The Tenant

    The Tenant

    I’m sorry but stabbing a hand reaching into your apartment only for it to return a few seconds later wearing a black leather glove is extremely funny.

    Movie was a little long but that’s fine. I don’t have a lot of places to be right now.