• Frozen

    Frozen

    It's one of those movies, that had it been made in the mid-90's would have been voiced by Cuba Gooding Jr. It wasn't made in the 90s. It is distressingly bereft of Cuba Gooding Jr. You might disagree, but you would be wrong.
    Overall, this is a Disney princess movie secretly marketed to boys. Disguised, really, to sell more tickets. I find the marketing more distasteful than the movie.

  • 47 Ronin

    47 Ronin

    As proven by every movie since the first Matrix, Keanu just cannot slow down bullets in real life. He also cannot slow down the long slide of his career.
    Kurosawa pooped things better than this movie.

  • The Lone Ranger

    The Lone Ranger

    When I was young there was an urban legend that Kimosahbee meant "horse shit", and that Tonto called the Lone Ranger this as an inside joke.
    This movie is Kemosahbee.

  • In a World...

    In a World...

    ★★★

    I avoided this movie because it seemed like it was gonna be one of those movies that has a star named Piper in it. It was better than that. Interestingly features the longest shot of a bald hairy person making strange noises in a sauna I have ever seen.