Thunderball ★★★½

From the pen of James Bond. Circa 1965.
"I was at a funeral today and punched a widow right in the face. Disappointingly, it turned out to be a man. It wasn't a total loss though, as I got to fly away using my jetpack. Yeah, that's right bitches, I've got a jetpack now! All my missions are gonna be so boss now 'cause I've got a jetpack. Bond James Bond flies in, Bond James Bond kills some baddies, Bond James Bond flies away. Loads more time for getting pissed up and showing the ladies my double-oh face. Fuck yeah, I love my life."

Some time later.
"Stupid mostly underwater mission. Can't even use my jetpack. I'm going to sleep with even more ladies to spite you stupid scuba diving bastards. And kill some sharks for a laugh. On a positive note; I shot a guy with a harpoon today and then said "I think he got the point". Ha ha, brilliant. "Point", 'cause a harpoon is pointy. This girl that I was with couldn't believe her luck when I said that. Yeah, life's still pretty good."

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