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  • Deep Blue Sea 3

    Deep Blue Sea 3

    ★★½

    love how accidentally perfect a metaphor it is to have two groups of american scientists studying the effects of climate change on the ocean completely forget to warn the african fisherman not to go in the shark infested waters. hilarious kills!!

  • Necropolis: Legion

    Necropolis: Legion

    ★★★

    in the mouth of madness via 70s eurosleaze/folk horror, the blatant imitation of older better stuff is luckily charming instead of obnoxious or pretentious because of the incredibly low budget style. makes no sense and has little if anything to do with the original necropolis, but looks cool and has some good gooey sfx. also a fan of the fact that this has almost no men in it, the main character is gay, the demon queen and her lady minions…

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  • Minions

    Minions

    when i say i would die for my daughter, it doesn't only mean i would give her a vital organ or make her drink the last of the water in a desert or take her place in front of an oncoming speeding vehicle or pull her out of a burning building. it also means i will die thousands upon thousands of small deaths - i watched the seconds of my life tick slowly away as i endured the mind-numbing boredom…

  • La La Land

    La La Land

    ★★★

    i don't care what anyone - including the director - says, this movie is only about one thing: the soft spot you'll always have for the first obnoxious dumbass you fell in love with