National Security ★½

This is....not a good movie.
It's by Dennis Dugan, who crafted Adam Sandler's Jack and Jill after all--I didn't realize that when I started watching, and I didn't realize that the plot contrivance that puts Steve Zahn's former-cop in the same life lane as Martin Lawrence's wanna-be security guard (think Seth Rogen and Ray Liotta's chemistry in Observe and Report, only more gunfire and they're supposed to be sympathetic, I suppose) is when Zahn attempts to arrest Lawrence and gets arrested for assaulting him after a bystander mistakenly captures him on camera trying to hit a bee with his nightstick (?@!??!) as Lawrence is terribly allergic to bees, and his swollen features after getting stung are blamed on the beating he got from..........................aah

So anyhow, the two men end up working together to redeem Zahn and help him get revenge on Eric Roberts for the murder of Zahn's partner from back when he was cop, in a series of gunfight/chase scenes that involve remarkable amounts of broken glass and swearing, including one that I'm guessing was paid for entirely by the Coca-Cola Company, as the amount of product placement is literally painful to look at.

However...

Dennis Dugan must be one of those guys who always swings for the bleachers, and strikes out 96% of the time...but the other 4% .....Home Runs all the way. Just like Jack and Jill, with the Dunkaccino scene, there's a few fleeting moments of transcendence here, in a scene where Bill Duke's good cop meets with Zahn and Lawrence while eating potato chips as they try to convince him that the police department contains a crooked cop who's working with Roberts Gang. Watching Duke munch away stonefaced while listening to them, and slowly, deliberately, shove a fresh chip in his mouth as Lawrence tries to wheedle a snack for himself out of Duke's bounty is to look upon the face of God. But that's only......45 seconds of film? Pity this wasn't an office comedy about coworkers fighting over potato chips.

Jay D liked these reviews