Before Sunrise

Before Sunrise ★★★★★

I always tell people that I feel like I live in three different dimensions at once, and I get a weird look and I think ok, forget it. But when Celine says “I always have this strange feeling that I am this very old woman laying down about to die. You know, that my life is just her memories, or something,” I realize that’s what I should have been saying all along. 

I have such a weird, pretty difficult relationship with time. When I’m experiencing something good, all I can think about is how sad I will be when it ends, and when I’m experiencing something bad I just think about how I will remember that feeling forever. I look around rooms or places and just think about how clearly I can still feel the people who used to be there and how weird it is that they’re not there anymore. I won’t be surprised if I wake up tomorrow and I’m 100. 

This movie captures all of those feelings for me. When they visit the graveyard and think about someone being 13 forever, or as their night goes on and the urgency and desperation of their time together presses in on them, and they debate, maybe it’s for the better? Maybe it is more beautiful that way? 

But maybe it’s not! Maybe some things should last forever, as much as they can. Maybe if we can get off a train or meet up again or take a photo so we never forget, we should. I don’t know. All I know is that sometimes, to me, life feels as frantic and fragile as one perfect night in Vienna.