A Quiet Place

A Quiet Place ★★½

Finally saw this. I expected to quite like it, and while I'm still happy John Krasinski is having a strong second wind, well...

It turns out I had some big issues with this film. Most pressingly: I can't stand horror/thriller movies that rely on the stupidity of characters to drive events. Some - in character - poor decisions? Sure. It's only human. Yet, constant just "wtf" level dumbness? No thanks.

Especially when the film isn't allowing itself to be in the joke. If a silly horror slasher has stupid characters, that's one thing, it's not aiming for acclaim. Yet, films such as A Quiet Place that want nothing more than to come off as "serious" horror fare, when they go for the constant stupidity...no, just no.

For starters: you really thought having a damn baby in a world in which killer monsters are devouring anyone who makes a *noise* was a good idea? Selfish idiots. Sorry, not sorry.

If they had no children? Ok, maybe, for the whole survival of the human species thing. Nope, they already have two (surviving) kids. Calm down. Also, are you telling me they had sex without making a *peep*? Poor Krasinski must be quite the underwhelming lay.

The teenage daughter...oh, the daughter. You see your dad clearly tell your little brother he shouldn't have a noisy toy, but sure, give it to him anyway. Being sweet is all well and good, but, again, YOU LIVE IN A WORLD OF KILLER MONSTERS.

The she spends most of the film pouting, going off on her on for a trek and leaving her mother in peril. YOU LIVE IN A WORLD OF KILLER MONSTERS. But, sure, go have a hike because you're in your feelings.

Also. From a plot standpoint [spoilers moving forward]: it basically took a young girl figuring out her ear piece messed with the monster's sensitive ears, and then a mother with no formal military training to shoot the thing in the damn head with shotgun to kill one of these things.

Ok. You're telling me these things overwhelmed *the entire world* without our greatest minds going, "Gee, maybe the monsters that are entirely based on hearing might have a sound-based weakness?" Ol' Elon couldn't crack that one? You're also telling me *every nation in the world's* armed forces couldn't figure out to shoot these things in the head?

Yeah. Calling stupid bullshit.

Beyond all this, strangely, I never really shared in the character's fear. I certainly felt their misery, but (and I haven't put my finger on why yet) I felt purely a spectator when it came to the 'scary' elements, not a participant as I do in many of my favorite horror films.

Also, small gripe, but the scene at the waterfall feels so false. You have this otherwise immature tiny young boy giving Krasinski advice that feels written for a wise old grandmother. Out of character and unbelievable coming from such a little kid.

Anyway, I've given this film a really hard time, I'm not saying it's something you can't have a decently good time with, I was just expecting *far* more.

And who left the damn faucet on to flood their entire secret hideout? STUPID, y'all.

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