• Frailty

    Frailty

    ★★½

    A limp-dicked religious commentary that is as hard to watch as it is to care about at all. And if you don’t think this is about religion, then why is it so prevalent while adding nothing to the ending or the outcome or the purpose.

    Mcona-who? Horrible performance and I can’t take it seriously. I think I should stop reviewing this thing before I drop it another half star.

  • Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

    Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

    It’s fine. I liked it. Don’t feel like rating it though. That’s too much.

  • Koko-di Koko-da

    Koko-di Koko-da

    The acting in the first 20 minutes of the movie is great. The set up of what’s going on is also interesting. The actual plot after that is equal parts weird, violent, and uncomfortable. There is no real point to this unfortunately. Every element of this movie has been done better elsewhere. I guess this movie does have a happy ending which shocked me but there ain’t much to this.

  • Halloween

    Halloween

    ★★★★

    So influential.

    The consistency is perfect, having the eerie feeling maintained throughout the runtime. The Shape (Michael Myers) is one of those characters that seems easy to comprehend but seeing it on screen is something totally different. John Carpenters love for horror and movie making comes through in every shot. The scene that really hooked me was when Laurie is scanning the streets and Michael isn’t on screen but she can’t look away. Most of the shots are at eye…

  • A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

    A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

    ★★★½

    Skipping the 2nd movie is the right call. This movie slaps.

    This is a fun horror movie. It takes no time to get going like the first movie, but uses Freddie throughout in a way that works perfectly. Unlike the first one, this has some legit scares in it as it uses tension and payoff really well. This movie should have been longer, with there being more of a back and forth between Freddie and the kids. It seems silly…

  • A Nightmare on Elm Street

    A Nightmare on Elm Street

    ★★½

    It’s fine.

    Freddie is great.

    Only an hour and a half and still feels like it drags in the middle. The audio in this movie and the lack of consistency in Fred’s voice is annoying. Honestly a lot of the best parts of this movie are in the first 30 minutes which sucks cause it’d be more of a classic if they maintained that pace and quality. Though the ending is pretty good which kinda saves it IMO.

  • The Last Duel

    The Last Duel

    ★★★★

    The Truth does not matter. There is only the power of Man. Well said.

    This movie is a great subversion from what I expected. The 3 parts of the movie blend the different characters and how they see themselves in the world, with Marguerite being the real account. Also interesting that the first two chapters build up the relationship between the duelists for so long, but Marguerite only has scenes that are relevant to the trial. This is a great way…

  • Ichi the Killer

    Ichi the Killer

    ★★★★

    The ugly presentation and displays of graphic violence blend together perfectly with the black comedy and *complete ass* CGI. If you can get through the first 5 minutes of the film, you can relax knowing it only gets easier to watch. The 2 main characters are great, though I like that Kakihara is the one we spend more time with. He’s a more interesting character compared to Ichi, at least to watch on screen. This movie doesn’t feel long and…

  • The Boondock Saints

    The Boondock Saints

    ★★

    Willem Dafoe is the only good part of this movie. His performance is so good that I watched this whole shit show. Nothing feels self-aware, there isn’t any action sequence that feels well done, and the editing is atrocious. Why have I heard of this movie? I don’t know if 2 hours of your life is a fair exchange to love Willem Dafoe even more and you should probably just skip this fiasco

  • First Love

    First Love

    ★★★½

    This movie makes me question all my other ratings. The amount of love in the execution of this movie was unreal. 

    Scott pilgrim, Tarantino, and Meth walk into a bar…

    The acting is grounded and over the top. The 20 minute sequence of no one knowing what’s going on and Kase just running around trying to fix it is wild. This movies characters are wild but believable, though this issue doesn’t really have a protagonist. Like yeah there is one,…

  • Twelve Monkeys

    Twelve Monkeys

    ★★★½

    Great movie. Maintains a weird progression while being surprisingly easy to follow. Brad Pitt should reprise his character down the road; easily his most animated performance. The cinematography and style overstays it’s welcome and the transition from the 2nd to the 3rd act is pretty weak. I’d say this movies greatest strength is that it makes sense. It creates a world and circumstances that are foreign to you, but by the end you get to sit back and know what…

  • Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

    Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

    ★★★★★

    I’ve never been so invested in a man having a stare down with a clothing iron. In the same scene, the man also ends up killing his own gun with with his *other* gun. You owe it to yourself to see this one!