Film Critic at James Madison University

William Goldman Wannabe

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Pinned reviews

  • The Searchers

    The Searchers


    I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a movie who’s first half hour is so engrained in my brain and the next half hour is almost entirely erased. I have a slight soft spot for The Searchers just because it’s basically the movie that taught me how movies should work and what directing is. I watched it in school and the idea of the camera pushing put the door in the open and coming in at the close or the…

  • The Descendants

    The Descendants


    In short, I just didn't like it. It felt like a stylized Jim Brooks rip off who's earnestness doesn't track with enough lazy plot mechanics to drown itself in. It's Oscar bait at its most Oscar baity, with Payne fishing for a Best Director (he won screenplay so he was fine) and Clooney for Best Actor (he lost, but had a writing nomination that year too so good for him). I find it to be completely dead on arrival, exactly…

Recent reviews

  • The Departed

    The Departed


    I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said “we’re the cops that watch the cops that watch the cops” in my life. It’s somewhere in the thousands.

  • Any Given Sunday

    Any Given Sunday


    The greatest director bullshit moment of all time is Oliver Stone walking up to his DP Sal Totino on set on the first day of shooting and earnestly telling him "Welcome to Vietnam." Nothing will ever top it.

Popular reviews

  • Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness

    Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness


    America is a fucking crazy place

  • The Trial of the Chicago 7

    The Trial of the Chicago 7


    When it works it really works but when it doesn’t it really fucking doesn’t. And when I heard Aaron Sorkin say in an interview that he couldn’t pick the right lens out of a lineup, he wasn’t kidding because this movie looks like absolute shit.

    But, you know, it’s better than Molly’s Game and I like basically every performance except Eddie Redmayne, so it’s good. And shout out to Jeremy Strong as Jerry Rubin for just absolutely living inside the bit. Just iconic shit from him. His performance made me laugh harder than I have from a new movie this year.