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  • Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    Star Wars: The Last Jedi


    The ‘Countdown To Life Day’ Star Wars Spectacular: The Last Jedi. 

    (Just so you know, I had to write this twice because the first one disappeared. This one is written differently and worded differently. I feel like shit right now but at least I managed it. I’d be taking the piss if I said I wasn’t disappointed that this review could’ve been better.)

    There was a time where I disliked Star Wars: The Last Jedi. I saw it on release…

  • 20th Century Women

    20th Century Women


    There’s not much else I can really say about this movie without rambling and saying how much the ending makes me sob every fucking time (my eyes are so red right now ugh). But I already have another ramble scheduled instead so fuck it. I wrote a thing last night while I was having a crisis and just thought I’d share it since it kind of ties into the themes of 20th Century Women. 
    So here goes.

    To those in…

Recent reviews

  • Mystery Train

    Mystery Train


    Land of the free
    Home of the brave
    Destination of the dreamers
    Dominion of the hustlers

    We see a train stop in an otherwise nondescript place. It’s a place of music, culture and legacy. Our characters have traveled from far and wide and not so far at all. The travellers in the tale, in particular, are drawn to it by passion or coincidence, they’re now one night stop offs in a maze of quiet streets and dilapidated buildings. It’s talked…

  • The Grand Budapest Hotel

    The Grand Budapest Hotel


    Willed Dafoe’s best performance since his Oscar winning role as esteemed filmmaker Carson Clay in the 2007 masterpiece, Mr Bean’s Holiday.

Popular reviews

  • Shadow of a Doubt

    Shadow of a Doubt


    Sweet home Hitchcock-bama...

    1943 America was lowkey horny af, let’s be honest. It took her uncle being a potential murderer for his niece to not want to fuck him. A very incesty movie for sure. I guess you could say: incesty without a... Shadow Of A Doubt

    Ha ha? 🤷‍♂️

    Hitchcock Rankings

  • WandaVision



    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Marvel Execs: Alright man, so how are you gonna end Wandavision? Any ideas?

    Jac Schaeffer: Have you seen this little known indie movie? It’s called Man Of Steel.

    Seriously though, as ‘Marvel-ised’ as the finale was, that shit still hit more emotionally than 85% of the rest of the MCU. I did not want to cry this morning but yeah, I guess a superpowered lady saying goodbye to her grief produced fake family was enough to make me sob. Good for you Marvel, now lets see you branch out just a little more.

    Fuck Thanos, all my homies hate Thanos 😡 🤜