I'm not answering any Goddamned questions without my lawyer here.
There are a couple of important lessons in the first five minutes of Halloween Kills. The first is, if you want to survive an encounter with nervous cops, move slowly, move calmly, show no alarm, and have the whitest possible face, even if you have to create one.
The second is, if you are an actor with any ambitions toward resting in peace after you die, get rid of those illusions quick, because your face and your voice will get…
Al Pacino has the stroke eye now. That's probably not a great sign.
This was a blind watch based on the cast - even late day Pacino with his "Your check cleared, so what do you want me to shout at the camera today?" attitude can be fun in the right property, and who doesn't like Karl Urban? We'd hit play on the thing before I Googled and discovered this was directed by Johnny Martin, renowned... checks notes... stunt coordinator…
We open with seizure-inducing flickering lights and a voice over direct from an incel's manifesto, and I fear that I might have made a terrible movie selection.
Then we cut to a teenager, who has apparently murdered a girl in his bedroom, calling his mom for help, and it seems the voice over might well have been straight out of an incel's 4Chan post history, and I am questioning the life choices that have brought me here, in front of…
Today is my SO's and my twentieth anniversary. The reason it is today, as opposed to about a month, month and a half ago is a long and sordid tale of treachery, betrayal, sleep deprivation, reckless substance abuse, a certain amount of 9/11 involvement, and the vagaries, inbreeding and backstabbing of the Boston comedy community. It is an epic, romantic tale of a well-earned two decades together.
However, today I had to bring the cat to the vet to get…