Army of the Dead

Army of the Dead ½

The Impossible™ Burger of Zack Snyder movies: the satirical snark and cohesive commentary of a Ron Perlman "Yo Lil Donny" Twitter shitpost and the emotional core and defeatist ethos of an Arnold Schwarzenegger/Greta Thunberg bicycle ride. My auteur theory defense du jour for this one can be summed up in that Zack absolutely nails the zombie subgenre, because this is expertly concocted to be bloated, flatlined, ugly and (oh so) boring. Just watch -and appreciate- Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars again (which the galaxy-brained pro critics should be quoting comparably instead of just Jim Cameron's overexposed Aliens).

P.S. There are days when this is frankly the worst movie I've ever seen. Bravo Sneeder!