Army of the Dead

Army of the Dead ★★½

Long gone is the lean, mean, brutally efficient zombie attack of Snyder's Dawn of the Dead. Instead we have a bloated, emotionally stunted melodrama with some solid action beats wrapped round it. Oh and the zombie apocalypse is now caused by an errant blow job.........Zack Snyder, are you turning into Michael Bay?

Fifty wasted minutes before we get to Vegas, the only flicker of life before then an amusing, grue-soaked credits sequence that is fun for half of it before even then it slips into syrupy emotional cliche......the entire film is summed up within a three minute credit sequence.

Steals that go beyond homage to eye rolling lift from much better films start the gag reflex (James Cameron and Brandywine must be on the phone to their lawyers.....), which continues into and through trope after trope. The much promised Vegas neon-drenched inspired fun is completely absent, with nothing made of the much promised Zombie Oceans mash up at all.

The zombies themselves hint at an interesting sense of mythos but its sketched way too thinly, all it does is raise questions where there simply didn't need to be any. Dear god, I hope there isn't a four hour Snyder cut of this waiting to be shat out on us all..........

What could have been an inspired mega budgeted Feast/Hatchet-esque caper jam (serious monsters surrounded by goofy, fun characters) is nothing but a tired re-run of just about every zombie film made in the last twenty years. Ridiculous plotting, some hilariously bad CG (the stitching in of the pilot who was shot afterwards on her own is.....not good), some truly dreadful attempts at socio-political awareness and you'd have thought a film of this scale could have afforded to pay for a bloody focus puller (every shot is in focus in its centre but out of focus around the edges), its such a crushing disappointment from Snyder who basically bettered every element of this with his first film.

Ignore the marketing that promises an amusing romp. The word I heard more often in the build up to this was 'fun'. And sadly, its the one thing that's missing.

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