Black Christmas

Black Christmas ★★★

The second and very odd remake of Bob Clark's classic slasher and the first to have its antagonist be a completely different film........

Its set up deliciously - a sorority sister is stalked by a caped clad psycho before dying beautifully in the worlds most upsetting snow angel. So far so good. Flash forward and we're introduced to a whole new bunch of sisters, including Imogen Poots who is very damaged from an event the previous year involving a whole bunch o' ass hat frat bros and their toxic masculinity. Cue 40 mins or so of very on the nose commentary about current US university culture which isn't anywhere near as annoying as many raging tinternet warriors have found it. Suddenly the cape clad psycho begins to pick off each girl one by one in a very jolly looking sorority house lit by nothing but fairy lights and very obvious slasher tropes and camera moves.

The first thing to note is its far too bloodless and gore free - we even have really clumsy edits just as dead bodies are turned to camera so we don't even get to see a dead face let alone any actual blood or grue. And the worse thing is it feels like the film purposefully chose to not show this for some very odd reason. Fair enough you want your PG-13 rating but sexual assault is fine? Come on, push the fucking ratings boundary and give us a little more of the good grue stuff.


Also, because the film had done such a poor job of trying to generate any mystery whatsoever from the identity of the antagonists (clue: watch The Skulls.....on second thoughts don't, because the entire film is here), I was waiting for a clever about face and a switcheroo to liven things up with, which I very nearly got (I had my fingers crossed for a twist a la April Fools Day.......), but then sadly didn't.

And just when disappointment was about to set in, all logic and reason left the building as the REAL antagonist was revealed and I just laughed my fucking arse off. Probably not the reaction the film makers were going for and a finale which I'm really not sure even fits in with the politics of the rest of the movie (its like it bizarrely handed an excuse to all those heinous frat boys to justify their behaviour and simply wasn't needed other than to maybe appease somewhat those still raging keyboard warriors).

But fuck it, I went with it and ended up sort of enjoying this very oddball of a message/slasher movie that probably shouldn't have called itself Black Christmas if it was gonna do what it ended up doing.........

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