y’all ever seen michael caine frenching sean young while holding two live crabs
count me as one of the people who think M Night actually has a very acute sense of humor that's exclusively on the formal side. Setting up wild conflicts and jokingly letting them deflate or relishing their inevitable conclusion is what really gets his motor going.
Old, similar to his other best "director jail" movies are like those meandering jokes that are only enjoyable for the person delivering them. I used to have a favorite joke as a kid about…
Gary Oldman plays a little person.
Matthew McConaughey is his twin brother.
Their father is the dwarf from Twin Peaks.
Peter Dinklage is a French motorcycle riding marxist misogynist.
Patricia Arquette stole Gary Oldman's hair from True Romance.
Kate Beckinsale stole Gary Oldman's hair from Dracula.
David Alan Grier has sex with dwarf porn star Bridget Powers.
Best movie ever.
The US government has a very secret and risky mission they can't tell anyone about, so they gather everyone together and everyone goes "oh is this a manhattan project" and the government blushes and winks. All the best seamen are enlisted because they do swing dancing and get into race wars in their spare time.
Nic Cage is the captain because he is very good at talking directly into the camera, and by extension my soul. At one point his…