• The Underneath

    The Underneath

    Laughably bad and hopelessly derivative from the first frame.  Most of the major roles are woefully miscast and I’ve never seen Austin used to such underwhelming effect. I don’t see what motivated Soderburgh to make this film which is arguably the worst of his career.

  • Let's Scare Jessica to Death

    Let's Scare Jessica to Death

    ★½

    Let’s bore Jessica to Death would have been a more appropriate title. It’s a psychological thriller for people who’s greatest fright is not having a farmers market within walking distance of their apartment.

  • Respectable: The Mary Millington Story

    Respectable: The Mary Millington Story

    ★★

    It’s hard to believe the tale of a tragic porn star could be so boring. I couldn’t wait for it to end.

  • Playing Away

    Playing Away

    ★★★½

    The rare British film with a majority West Indian cast, a West Indian screenwriter, and a West Indian director. That would be rare even now. It was a slow starter (The sound mix wasn’t great early in the film so I missed a lot of the banter), but once the action moved to middle of nowhere England it picked up pace.

  • Half Brothers

    Half Brothers

    The parts of this that were supposed to be dramatic, like the ending, were hilarious in their craptacularneas and the parts that were supposed to be funny largely weren’t. Also when most people drive long distances in this country they use this thing called the interstate system.

  • Come Away

    Come Away

    ★½

    Disappointing! This movie never gets out of first gear. Utterly predictable. I don’t know if I ever been so bored with a fantasy film.

  • Preparations to be Together for an Unknown Period of Time

    Preparations to be Together for an Unknown Period of Time

    ★★½

    Take a beautiful mind and then make it a romantic comedy and then remove the twist and then remove the comedy and then set the damn thing in Budapest one of the loveliest cities in the world the setting of which you completely waste and you’re pretty close.

  • Breaking Surface

    Breaking Surface

    ★½

    If you’ve seen one scuba-diving disaster pic then you’ve seen this one. Take away the admittedly breathtaking Scandinavian scenery  and you’ve got a predictable, formulaic thriller that, except for its hatred of dogs, feel like it was written by a computer program.

  • Spring Blossom

    Spring Blossom

    ★½

    If you take away the age of the Director when she wrote the script, then you’re left with this banal, weightless “love” story where not much happens. I can’t recall a Bildungsroman that has less at stake than this one. At this point Lindon is neither a compelling actor nor an interesting filmmaker.

  • Infinite Football

    Infinite Football

    It feels like a prank played by the director on an unsuspecting art house audience unless it’s a commentary that the type of people who end up as faceless government bureaucrats are that suck at every aspect of their life. Yeah lady the reason why you haven’t been compensated for your land after 27 years is that your local automaton is too busy trying to turn soccer into lacrosse. My experience watching this film was to utter “this is so…

  • Goodbye to Language

    Goodbye to Language

    This film punches you in the nose 50 or
    53 times, slurps up all of the spurting blood, and then spits it back into your face because, you know, cinema. The dog is cute. Apparently it belongs to Godard or he stole it from one of his neighbors who gave it to their youngest child as a combination birthday gift/reimbursement for several weeks of lunch money. The movie lasts almost 70 minutes but seems both longer and shorter and much…

  • Shockproof

    Shockproof

    ★★

    Worst ending to a film noir ever!