• The Good Liar

    The Good Liar

    ★★★½

    Are the tables turned in the most stupidly obvious fashion possible? Yes. Could I watch Ian McKellen and Helen Mirren chew scenery for five hours straight? Yes.

  • Final Destination 5

    Final Destination 5

    ★★★

    It's like 90 minutes of David Koechner and Tony Todd riffing their asses off and little pink balloons full of red paint popping. Appreciated the nice mix up between red herrings in the rube goldberg traps and the straightforward one where someone gets obliterated exactly how the setup telegraphs.

  • Possessor

    Possessor

    ★★★★

    "I LEARNED IT FROM YOU DAD!" - Brandon Cronenberg

  • A Nightmare on Elm Street

    A Nightmare on Elm Street

    ★★★½

    Lustful teens going to horny jail one by one.

  • Titane
  • Squid Game

    Squid Game

    ★★½

    I watched the whole thing in one day becausr I am fucking dumb. Just watch Battle Royale or Oldhoy instead. It's got an incredibly hot start and then it gets progressively worse I promise.

  • Hocus Pocus

    Hocus Pocus

    I know I'm not fun. I know.

  • Malignant

    Malignant

    ★★★½

    This is what I personally mean when I say "defund the police

  • Out of Sight

    Out of Sight

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    it feels like the only two reviews you're allowed to give of this movie are:

    1) I'd rob a bank if J-Lo put some handcuffs on me hubba hubba
    2) You turn into peter travers and say something like "big fun from a sexy cool cast! the whip smart script and sultry soundtrack will have your big boner poking the bottom of a popcorn bucket!" something like that.

    but allow me to offer a third take

    3) when white boy bob slipped on the staircase and shot himself in the head i got real sad because that's probably something i would do.

  • Intolerable Cruelty

    Intolerable Cruelty

    ★★★½

    The Coens understand the secret to unlocking Clooney is to make him look as stupid as possible.

  • Bound

    Bound

    ★★★★½

    Probably the hottest fucking thing I have ever watched. So many good framing shots and such good writing. Everyone is believably smart and it makes all the scheming so so satisfying. Unfortunately I am now positive my wife is gonna do this to me.

  • Sword of Trust

    Sword of Trust

    ★★★½

    Just a nice little weird trip. Effortless in all the best ways. Marc Maron as cantankerous pawn shop guy is too perfect.