donthitpause

donthitpause

a living nightmare of black magic, unspeakable evil and Hello Kitty plush toys.
never follows back. ever.

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  • Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell

    Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell

    ★★★★★

    Shinichi Fukazawa's love letter to Sam Raimi. Shot on video in 95, edited in 2005, released in 2009, and finally, finally available on a modern digital format in 2017, I can't believe it took me til 2020 to have an opportunity to abuse my eyeballs with this shit! Yep, everything you've heard about this is true; it's very Evil Dead-ish. It's incredible that this was ever even released. It's got stop motion. It's got gore. It's got arterial blood spray.…

  • Oasis of Fear

    Oasis of Fear

    ★★★★

    A young Ray Lovelock plays a crooked hippie named Dick. An even younger Ornella Muti (voted the most beautiful woman in the world in '94) is his nubile and extremely hot sidekick Ingrid. Dick needs a haircut. Ingrid is a Eurobabe who doesn't shave her pits. Director Umberto Lenzi's producers are fucking idiots and have Lenzi switch the modus operandi of the couple from "drug traffickers making their way through Europe peddling dope" to "porn peddlers making their way through…

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  • Color Out of Space

    Color Out of Space

    ★★★★★

    H.P. Lovecraft. Richard Stanley. Nicolas Cage. Tommy Chong. Burzum.

    I fucking know, right?

    Had to happen in somebody's lifetime. Thankfully, it happened in mine.

    G-Spot/ 10

  • The Iron Rose

    The Iron Rose

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "They say that the stars are gods, sending us signals..." - Karine

    Boy meets Girl.
    At a wedding.
    Boy takes Girl on a date.
    In a cemetery.
    Boy and Girl fuck in an underground crypt, lose track of the time, desecrate graves & corpses, then lose their minds.
    Girl buries Boy alive in aforementioned underground crypt.
    Then dances, humming around the cemetary in the foggy daybreak hours.
    Girl joins Boy in underground crypt.
    Flowers.

    Rudimental. Raw. Spartan. Devoid of conventional narrative…