Lists

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Movies That End With Death And A Dance Number

5 films

if you need an explanation…

  • Free Guy
  • Zack Snyder's Justice League
  • Bo Burnham: Inside
  • Old
  • False Positive

Top Ten Shitterton Splats Of 2021

10 films

worst movies of ‘21! agonizing for their content, discourse, or lack of artistic merit!

(subject to change if the next…

  • Upgrade
  • Fried Barry
  • The Guest
  • VFW
  • Possessor

Synthwave Movies

22 films

duhn duhn duhn beep beep whoo taking it back to the eighties except eighties keyboards didn’t have this kind of…

  • Lost Highway
  • Twin Peaks: The Return
  • Eraserhead
  • Blue Velvet
  • Dune

CLICHE FILMBRUH LYNCH RANKING

12 films

bruh I love art n’ shit, here’s my list, also fuck you the monkey is way better than mulholland drive

  • Love on a Leash
  • The Snowman
  • After Last Season
  • Ryan's Babe
  • Double Down

Movies From Beyond All Limits Or Comprehension

13 films

I must have said “wait, what? what the fuck?” a minimum of forty times watching these movies

  • Blade

MCU Rankings List (see Addendum 1-4)

1 film

Addendum 1: must be blade Addendum 2: must star wesley snipes - point of order: sticky fingaz of onyx also…

  • Mad Max: Fury Road
  • Only God Forgives
  • Hard to Be a God
  • The Killing of a Sacred Deer
  • Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)

Top Horny Decade Fuck Movies For Slutty Wet Boners And Rock Hard Pussies

15 films

what is art? when is art? who makey makey fucky fucky? 

fifteen sexy flicks oozing art that spurted wonder all…

  • The Lighthouse
  • Midsommar
  • Parasite
  • Uncut Gems
  • Us

Top 10 Films, 2019

10 films

yeah I know this is conceptually complex but these are the movies I personally enjoyed the most in 2019 

also…

  • Fury
  • All Through the Night
  • Green Room
  • The Night of the Generals
  • Judgment at Nuremberg

Nazi Head Go Boom Boom, Bye Bye Fascist Fucko

20 films

Nazis are bad and we should revel in their absolute destruction/psychological torment at the hands of their own guilt, or…

  • The Night of the Hunter
  • Out of the Past
  • His Kind of Woman
  • The Friends of Eddie Coyle
  • The Big Steal

Mitchumania, Bay-Bee!

17 films

ROBERT MITCHUM FROBERT FRITCHUM MOBERT RITCHUM CLOBBERT STICHUM SCHMOBERG FLIDGHUM

  • Buffalo '66
  • Garden State
  • Chappie
  • Dogville
  • Spring Breakers

Fuck You And Fuck Your Shitty Fucking Movie, You Fucking Fuck

18 films

WE MAKIN A MOVIES WE HATE LIST? OOOOH BUDDY I’M 

movies I hated because; 

1. they were bloated and masturbatory…

  • Hard to Be a God
  • Solaris
  • November
  • Hagazussa
  • Valhalla Rising

Wouldst Thou Like To Pretentious Deliciously

39 films

artsy bullshit to be super high/tripped out and watch in a stupor