• Halloween Kills

    Halloween Kills

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    This movie can be divided into 2 parts:
    Part 1: IT'S BEEN 40 YEARS!!! 40 YEARS OF TERROR!!! DID WE MENTION IT'S BEEN 40 YEARS OF MICHAEL MYERS?
    Part 2: Haddonfield residents are cajoled into self entitled vigilante justice by over the hill references to previous movies in the franchise and they all prove that Haddonfield is populated by dispensable idiots. Also Laurie Strode is relegated to Exposition Dump Grandma.

    ***SPOILER ALERT***
    Evil didn't die tonight. You boobs.

    Still, the…

  • Slaxx

    Slaxx

    When a possessed pair of jeans begins to kill the staff of a trendy clothing store, it is up to Libby, an idealistic young salesclerk, to stop its bloody rampage.
    I wouldn't call this a "skewering" of the fashion industry, but certainly a pointed take on being mindful of how fast fashion affects the behind the scenes institution that utilizes cheap/slave/child labor to keep up with changing demands. Also some muddy jab at GMOs?
    But it's a funny and fun…

  • Ghostbusters

    Ghostbusters

    How have I not reviewed this before?
    This movie has so many funny, clever, and unique moments that I can't think of a film that does horror comedy better.
    (Not even Shaun of the Dead, bc let's be honest, some of those jokes are so obvious. I know, I know, I hate to admit it myself, but SotD is not the end all be all of horror comedy. It is quite, however, possibly the Alpha and Omega of Zom-coms)

    This…

  • Evil of Dracula

    Evil of Dracula

    Evil of Dracula closes out Yamamoto’s "Bloodthirsty trilogy", and having not seen the first two I wonder why I began with this one.
    Well, my roommate and I needed an "E" title as we try to watch one genre flick of each letter of the alphabet through October 31st.
    A teacher assumes a position at a school that's run by a vampire.
    The first thing I noted about this movie is that the teacher seems to do whatever the Hell…

  • VHS 94

    VHS 94

    A mysterious VHS tape leads a police S.W.A.T. team to the discovery of a sinister cult whose collection of pre-recorded material reveals a nightmarish conspiracy.
    The fourth installment in the V/H/S series, this one might be my favorite of all the anthologies so far! The stories are each so good, the visual effects pretty amazing, the gore bonkers and plentiful!
    Storm Drain is incredibly entertaining.
    The Empty Wake is intimate and scary.
    The Subject is tragic and strangely videogame-like.
    Terror…

  • Dark Night of the Scarecrow

    Dark Night of the Scarecrow

    Feels good to revisit this made for TV film that isn't afraid to tackle murdering the mentally challenged, and flirts with pedophilia and child murder.
    Bubba is a child in a grown man's body that loves to play games and sing songs with a local girl; that rubs some of the townsfolk wrong, especially the mailman who claims his concern is for the child's safety but may have ulterior motives in wanting to destroy Bubba's friendship with her.
    At the…

  • Carrie

    Carrie

    Carrie White, a shy, friendless teenage girl who is sheltered by her domineering, religious mother, unleashes her telekinetic powers after being humiliated by her classmates at her senior prom.
    This film is based on Stephen Kings fourth (but first to be published) novel, Carrie.
    Sissy Spacek and Piper Laurie give such perfect performances that you have no problem believing every bit of this movie is the truth. In fact, they gave such powerful performances that it nabbed two nominations at…

  • The Baby

    The Baby

    A social worker, still reeling from the loss of her architect husband, investigates the eccentric, psychedelic Wadsworth Family, consisting of a mother, two daughters, and an adult son with the apparent mental capacity of an infant.
    I can't even.
    I'm still processing what happened in this film. I was disgusted, horrified, uncomfortable, and shocked! At no point in this movie did I know which direction it was going or what insane thing would happen next.
    The ending had me howling…

  • Fried Barry

    Fried Barry

    Barry is a drug-addled, abusive bastard who - after yet another bender - is abducted by aliens. Barry takes a backseat as an alien visitor assumes control of his body and takes it for a joyride through Cape Town.
    Barry is an unlikable character and has a gaunt, unique look about him that really fits with the idea of "alien". The world Barry lives in is unfamiliar to me, having never done hard drugs, but it seems like the drugs…

  • The Astronaut's Wife

    The Astronaut's Wife

    A pair of shuttle astronauts leave their spacecraft to repair a satellite. There's an explosion. NASA loses contact for two minutes, but the both are rescued and safely returned to Earth. Eventually it becomes evident that neither of the astronauts is quite the same.
    That's the summary given on IMDb but this movie is focused on one of the wives and we see everything from her perspective.
    There was just too much going on and not enough meaty revelations on…

  • Ten Minutes to Midnight

    Ten Minutes to Midnight

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Bitten by a rabid bat, a late-night radio host terrorizes her co-workers as she slowly transforms into a vampire.
    The transformation is a process and goes through stages: a meditation on growing older in general (being put out to pasture in favor of the young and up-and-coming) and as a woman specifically (a post menopausal woman needily devouring period blood), a life flashing before your eyes sort of realization that you never lived up to younger year ambitions, and finally…

  • Free Guy

    Free Guy

    A bank teller called Guy realizes he is a background character in an open world video game called Free City that will soon go offline.
    This was a lot of fun to watch, and being blissfully unaware of real life game coding and MPG's, I bought the tech aspect without question. Which made it very exciting for the final act!
    Ryan Reynolds has so much charm he could make you fall in love with a light post, and probably have…