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  • The Great Wall

    The Great Wall

    ★★½

    I'm going to ask a stupid sounding question but - Is any of this factual?

    Now that you're done laughing/yelling at me: I know very little about the actual Great Wall, but like - are there big gears and shit inside it? Are there mounts for catapults on the back?

    This is overall just a decent, fun, kind of silly idea with solid execution. Not terrible, but not especially memorable.

  • King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

    King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

    ★★★★

    This isn't NEARLY as bad as its reputation would have you believe. Is it silly? Yeah dawg - it's Guy Ritchie doing a "Raised on the Streets" King Arthur story, OF COURSE it's silly! But it's a lot of fun. It's actually very cool to NOT take King Arthur so gravely serious. It gives you the freedom to play around in that space.

    I love the way they handle magic in this. First: there's a LOT of it and while…

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  • Prodigy

    Prodigy

    ½

    Bear with me for a moment while I imagine what it was like to pitch Prodigy to investors:


    "What if Hannibal Lecter from Silence of the Lambs was ... a kid! But wait! So this kid killed her own mom! How messed up is that?! So she's in a gov't research think tank, like from Firestarter, but they wanna cut her open cuz, get this, she's not just like Hannibal Lecter from Silence of the Lambs, she's also kinda like…

  • The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part

    The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part

    ★★★½

    I loved the first LEGO Movie. Not only is it visually astounding, filled with joy and conveying a great message BUT it also dips its toe into a kind of (and I can't believe I'm about to type this phrase, but this is how I think of it) Family-Friendly Pseudo-Lovecraftian Horror. The revelation that, unlike say the Toy Story films where the toys *know* they're toys and actively avoid detection by humans, the characters in the LEGO movies exist in…