• The Full Monty

    The Full Monty

    used to be the only thing women had to jack off to was the movie" the Full monty." (1997) Now they can jack off to our posts

  • The Godfather: Part III

    The Godfather: Part III

    "I'll be crucified for saying it; but it took 18 years to complete the 'Luigi's Mansion' trilogy. Same as 'The Godfather'." - SirGamestop

  • The Godfather: Part II

    The Godfather: Part II

    my godfather died of urine poisoning while cleaning out a mcdonalds playplace tube and that's why drama makes me upset

  • The Godfather

    The Godfather

    i have been sitting in my computer chair repeating to myself the phrase "The god father of posts" for the past 9 hours .

  • Minari

    Minari

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Drink my god Damn piss. Drink my my god Damn piss. Drink my piss mother fucvker. Drink my fucking god damned piss off

  • Inherent Vice

    Inherent Vice

    GIRL: (after listening to me explain something i invented called Weed Theory for 20 mins) Wow thats pretty good. Did you invent that

    ME: Yes

  • Cars 2

    Cars 2

    THE COMMON IMBECILE: the movie "cars 2" is better than the movie "cars 1"

    ME: alas this nation has truly gone, to the dogs!!!!

  • The Lighthouse

    The Lighthouse

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    id love to get attacked by a bird. id love for a bird to try to fight me. id love to smash it to bits with my bare hands.

  • The Jazz Singer

    The Jazz Singer

    (hearing the first recorded sound from 1860, a pivotal technological milestone) This guy sounds like shit. Mostly his voice sounds like shit

  • The Prom

    The Prom

    it is official. im taking my football to prom and im going to kiss it and the nerds will never stop me. i cannot wait to savor their anguish

  • Winter Light

    Winter Light

    hah. i just read the entire bible and i'm still a lost., confused idiot. nice try, God. #BIbleFails

  • News of the World

    News of the World

    back before the web, Content had to be delivered house to house by the content man. he worked 14 hrs a day & people tried to shoot him a lot