Evan “Kaizô Haya-shill” Pincus

Evan “Kaizô Haya-shill” Pincus

"My world is made up of strange people, though none are stranger than you."
-Zé do Caixão (1936-2020, 1964-????)


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Recent reviews

  • Cure



    4.8 earthquake hit directly on-beat during the climax, which I’ll admit distracted me a little, but also hammered home just how oppressive and horrifying this one is. Jeez.

  • Pulse



    “Just right now, forever.”

    On paper seems like something destined to fall flat, but what might’ve been a jumbled, blatant mess becomes a remarkably subtle and mournful affair in Kurosawa’s hands, thanks to his near-complete refusal to “go big,” even when the story might call for it - a spell only broken by a few moments of dodgy spectacle. I’ve rarely seen a horror picture so keenly aware that the second half of a statement like “there was something in…

Popular reviews

  • Too Old to Die Young

    Too Old to Die Young


    Refn doubling down on everything that makes him so divisive - if The Neon Demon went "beyond feminist," this thing goes even further, with the white-hot searing rage against those who exploit women that might be explosive in a picture with a reasonable runtime stretched out into lengthy neon tableaux with basically no regard for pace. So... catnip for us Refnomaniacs fed up with toxic masculinity and terrified at the creeping resurgence of fascism, a slow drip of fury unfurled as…

  • I'm Thinking of Ending Things

    I'm Thinking of Ending Things


    Misogynist Freudian claptrap bullshit. Could Kaufman disappoint his fans if he tried? Send this guy back to writer’s rooms, where at least he can’t make art about his pathetic misery. Kaufman thinks he’s so cute and self-aware (much like Ehrlich’s review of his novel, which I only link because it is in fact the least self-aware thing I’ve ever read and I’ve been laughing about it all day), but even his jokes are self-serious. This is Alex Cox’s Searchers 2.0 for Criterion-collecting dipshits who think they have media literacy. Count me way the fuck out.