Constantine ★★½

Listen, I'm not convinced Francis Lawrence has much skill as a director beyond looking slick, but I'm a simple man. You give me goofy sexual imagery, Keanoir Reeves, one point symmetry and some of the craziest, most sacreligious props I've ever seen (the shotgun is great and dumb, but holy shit those brass knuckles!)... I'll have a fun time. Add a proto-Drive Angry 3D hellscape and, well, pardon the incongruity but I'm in heaven. I hate that all the silly Catholic noirror has to be directed by, like, Lawrence or Derrickson. We deserve a great version of this, but alas, this ain't it.

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