Elias

I've seen some shit man...

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  • Lethal Weapon

    Lethal Weapon

    ★★★★

    Mel Gibson would be pretty hot if he wasn't just a shit person

    A soft 8/10 (7.5/10)

  • Coming to America

    Coming to America

    ★★★

    Some of the makeup in this still holds up pretty well

    A solid 6/10 (6.3/10)

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  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    ★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I have some thoughts.

    The Bad:

    JJ just take a fucking breath. This shit was so fast paced it made me stop caring about anything as soon as it started. Also not every shot needs to be moving, this was the most Michael Bay-y Star Wars film ever.

    Hux's death and spy twist - abrupt and pointless....cute but pointless

    Han wasn't needed at all, let sleeping dogs lie.

    That banana slug looking thing is the new Jar-Jar...actually no, Jar-Jar is…

  • Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

    Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "And awaaaaaaay we go!"...I felt that.

    Janet screaming "get fucked!"...felt that too.

    Dalton tearing up after a reaffirming note from his awesome child costar...definitely felt that.

    Brad Pitt tripping balls then letting loose on some of the Manson family...you bet your ass I felt that!

    Also pitbulls are beautiful and amazing dogs and this movie just helps prove it.

    Also also, holy hell Toblerone loves him some dirty feet...

    Also also also, one guy let out a loud "HA!" after Lena Dunham said "we love Pussy"

    A solid 8/10 (8.4/10)