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Pinned reviews

  • Only Yesterday

    Only Yesterday

    A film review, ultimately, functions to either sell the reader on the picture or to give a clear image of how the writer felt overall but I can't really do either today. This feels like one of those films that only you know about, like a childhood memory or a note you've been passed in class. Will you cry the same way I did? Will an older version of myself laugh at all the same moments where I laughed here…

  • Silent Hill

    Silent Hill

    In the middle of some sort of cosmically bad vibe I knew it was time to go headfirst back into the comfort of something very dear to my heart. Maybe it’s the weekend? Weekends always aggravate me, because I never have anything to do. Silent Hill is a comfort zone. The ashes are cozy and the characters something I know. An overarching structure that could be considered “dreamlike” though most video game narratives from this time period could be classified…

Recent reviews

  • District B13

    District B13

    "Ong Bak meets Escape From New York"
    "what if la Haine was la Insane"

    three quarters of the way thru this I realised that buddy action movies and teen romances use the same formula a lot of the time. Two people who don't want to be together are forced to be together and slowly learn to accept and eventually appreciate one another. It's a shame these french boys don't kiss!!!!!! Also whoever wrote that IMPACT byline is right…

  • Tekkonkinkreet


    "My final tip:

    Be quiet when you whack someone. I taught you better than that, didn't I?"

    Yes, sir

    "Don't leave prints when you ditch the piece."

    Yes, sir...

    "And burn your clothes."

    Yes, sir.

    "Most important...

    Love your wife and child."

    [crying] yes sir...

    "Because all you need is love."

Popular reviews

  • Ichi the Killer

    Ichi the Killer


    Got high. Threw this on. Made out with gf. Passed out 2/3rds in. Forgot how hot Tadanobu Asano is and remembered very quickly when Kakihara blew smoke out the slits in his cheeks, Nicole and I both releasing a harmonic "yooooooooo" when he did so. A lot slower than I remembered! Melancholy to match Asano's somber sadboy mood. 💜💜💜

  • Godzilla vs. Kong

    Godzilla vs. Kong

    You aren't a REAL godzilla kong fan if you love/hate/like/dislike THIS latest entry in Legendary's Monsterverse franchise starring Millie Bobby Brown as a podcast addled cospiracy freak who refuses to drink fluoride water on a quest to do ultimately very little in the quest to stop the big monster from beating up the other big monster!

    Seriously though maybe it's time to shut the fuck up about who the real kaiju fans are or whatever. What a sad little dick…