• Son of Hercules vs. Medusa

    Son of Hercules vs. Medusa

    the medusa looks awesome but that's about it for this film

  • The Terminator

    The Terminator

    ★★★★★

    angry at all of my supposed friends who have the poster in their rooms yet never showed me this film or wanted to watch it with me when I suggested we check it out. this movie was fucking great except for the corny sex scene. but it was good to have a laugh about I guess.

  • The Company of Wolves

    The Company of Wolves

    ★★★★★

    deeply in love with the aesthetic of this film, still

  • The Green Knight

    The Green Knight

    I know I say this all the time but I actually will come back and give an extensive review of this absolutely mind-bogglingly shitty film.

    my review will contain a lot of spoilers, but I ask you: how can you spoil what was never even fit to consume?

    for now let me suffice to say that not since Battle Angel Alita have I drank so fucking much in a movie theater. also I guess I shouldn't go on dates with…

  • Candyman

    Candyman

    ★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    this movie didn't make sense to me. It had too much extraneous stuff that made it really hard for me to care. Maybe I'm just awful at these kind of movies? There is a hot white lady and you see her boobs all covered in blood.
    I liked the Clive Barker story alright. The soundtrack is good.

  • Black Angel

    Black Angel

    ★★★★

    I want to watch every single film that has this quality medieval style. I should look for a list.
    This was a nice little thing.

  • Mandy

    Mandy

    Just a bunch of aesthetic that isn't really my aesthetic so I didn't really care and it bummed me out because there's no way for me to like, integrate myself into the story at all or relate I guess? I don't like Nicholas Cage, and I have seen enough retrowave killer biker nonsense and cultist dicks and stuff in my real life already, and I didn't like it then, either. Like I don't strongly hate it it's just old hat.…

  • Nightmare Alley

    Nightmare Alley

    ★★★★½

    wow

  • The Lost Boys

    The Lost Boys

    ★★

    This was as boring as I remember. Cool set design. Otherwise utterly forgettable and dumb.

  • Sweet Sugar

    Sweet Sugar

    ★★★

    much more quality than expected. a picaresque with an impressive leading lady.

  • Cruising

    Cruising

    ★★★★

    It was fine

  • Vampire in Venice

    Vampire in Venice

    ★½

    Should have been a music video.
    Do you want a vampire movie where the vampire just throws people out of windows onto spikes? Do you want a vampire movie with new and completely arbitrary rules about where vampires come from and how to kill them?

    I watch a lot of bad movies but seriously this one was bad. Not VEROTIKA bad, but pretty damn bad.