the guy who always sees me come in by myself to watch a movie on friday mornings rung me up for 4 tickets to see this movie tonight and he was like "wow finally giving the friends thing a shot?" and tbh that's all i could think of while i watched this

If only its irony were the most painful thing about “Flatliners,” an artless and agonizingly boring remake of a semi-forgotten movie about the dangers of bringing things back from the dead. Lazily recycling the ’90s schlocky Joel Schumacher thriller of the same name (once a staple of video store shelves everywhere), this lifeless new version hits all the same beats as the original, but does so without a speck of the baroque style that made it such a fun thing to rent on a Friday night. At a time when making a movie — any movie — can feel like experimenting with life after death, there’s really no reason to belabor the point.

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This movie was inspired by Bill Hader's character in Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

im a med student and i can confirm that we all wanna die

really not as bad as literally anyone is saying it is but oh my god she fucking threw a macbook into the river kill yourself

this would’ve been 100 times better if they had all flatlined and no one had resuscitated them and then the movie ended

what.

highlights of this movie:

-ellen page announcing that she’s gonna make some bread just after having been brought back to life
-james norton and kiersey clemon’s sex scene
-the doctor reading in front of her students the “you little slut” messages
-nina dobrev’s face while suffocating on a plastic in her car
-diego luna’s flatlined face on this movie’s letterboxd header when he didn’t even actually flatline in the movie? it doesn’t make sense... like the story of this filmé

feel free to take a looong bathroom break during this...

and then just go home.

Diego Luna tricks the carrot into molesting one of his patients 15 minutes in and I was already ready to leave.

elliot page playing a heterosexual person: 1/2 stars

actually fucking kill me.
do not resuscitate.

It's alright, maybe my expectations were just a bit high. Elliot Page is brilliant but ultimately it's just a teen sci-fi flick without much substance overall. Really wanted to enjoy it! :(

• This movie was actually pretty good, I was surprised, the reviews/rating made me hesitant. The psychological aspect of this was interesting!

Es una lastima que la película no haya aprovechado mejor el concepto de la post-muerte, con escenarios más horrorosos y más conectados a la culpa del personaje. Aún así, la película es entretenida. No demasiado, quizá fiches el celular cada tanto, pero no vas a perderte nada elemental. Es de esas películas que se hacen entender solas, sin problema.

Si no sabés que ver, fichala!

Una buena idea pésimamente ejecutada, qué desperdicio de potencial

A slick-looking remake (?) of the 1990 original, but this one does not have the star power of actors to make the effort of updating the original worth it. A brief flirt with taking the story into a more horror direction shows the most promise that is dropped for telling basically the same story.

I’m speechless. Sophia was so fake and unsettling when she was asking for a forgiveness. What’s the message the director is trying to deliver there? A fake apology can make up for the guilt? I don’t process sorry.

Nina Dobrev left vampire diaries to star in mediocre films

flatlining sesh? who’s joining me we’ll get pretty crazy

The lines were rather flat in this tbf, aptly named.

I know what I was getting into with this. Sometimes I like to watch obviously bad horror movies, because they're comfortable. It did its job. For 50 or so minutes I was decently entertained. The problem always lies in its crescendo of horror that movies like this can never truly live up to. They fall into their predictable pattern of sudden loud noises and scared characters moving around slowly. But the set up for movies like this are always fun

The ghosts and flashback looked like they were taken from a point and click game