Possibly one of the most clear, startling moments of my sexual awakening was realizing that I did not appear in my fantasies. Instead, I pictured what I thought was the perfect woman. From adolescence until college or so, I fixated on various archetypes and idealizations, and often, to be direct about it, what I pictured were two women involved with each other. This isn't merely in random sexual fantasies, but in every fantasy I would have. I eventually realized that the reason for this is not that I was holding out for some ideal woman, but that this ideal woman was whom I wanted to be.

It took an incredibly long time to figure this out.

This is relevant for…

Here’s a little anecdote from my life. I went to an all-girl boarding school, and I was "accused" of being a lesbian. This boarding school was run by Catholic nuns. Even though this was many decades after ”Mädchen in Uniform" was made, I really can’t see much of a difference. We were not allowed to have any personal possessions, except for what was absolutely necessary, we were not allowed to listen to music, the walls in our dormitories (bedding five or six girls) were completely empty, we were not allowed to have any posters up, no pictures of Tom Cruise or anybody else. The letters we sent and received were regularly opened. We were not allowed to leave the house…

"You were only first aware that they were Jewish when fascism was there and you lost your friends." - Hertha Thiele

The previous decade was remarkably progressive for LGBTQ struggle in Germany--because of the activism and hard work of too many to name--but by 1931, the writing was on the wall. Between the economic crisis and the growing political strength of the right wing (buoyed by the democratic socialists' betrayal of the working class), queer people, trans people, and every oppressed group in Germany knew things were going to get so much worse.

This film, in some ways, comes across as a plea. It depicts queer love, a schoolgirl crush on her teacher, as innocent, as something normal. It shows…

Rewatching this with my roommate allowed me somehow a little more distance, but remarkably, the film is just as powerful. The themes of love, mercy, and compassion seemed stronger this time, as did the emphasis on the girls' youthful spirits. Every cut to two girls gossiping or giggling or getting into mischief added to the sense of fellowship among the students, and it's clear from her every word and facial expression that Bernberg is struggling with the strict nature of her setting.

Mostly, though, I found myself delighting in the existence of Ilse. Manuela's friend and most impressive trouble-maker. Her defiant nature and overt friendliness (and shameless mugging) make her the perfect symbol (but a human character as well) of…

If this film had been made to be seen by a modern audience, something gives me a feeling it would only be ignored now just as it was considered to be taboo at the time of its release. Considering what Mädchen in Uniform did open its audiences to back in 1931, it would be easy to see why this was controversial (especially to the point where the Nazi party sought to burn every last copy remaining at the time) but there's another level to where it's also going to find a much greater significance in this day and age. And considering how it was among the earliest films to have explicitly portrayed homosexuality, the very best part about watching Mädchen…

For the past month I've been paying attention to TCM's official Facebook page, where old fogies denounce any "liberal" programming that they deem unfit for their favorite channel. Too many days in a row of music documentaries? How dare they! Those aren't "real" movies, obviously. (Oh, the comments about Jay-Z...) Too many foreign films from the 2000s that were directed by women? Blasphemous, apparently, because they can't possibly be "classics." Gay content? Robert Osborne never would have stood for it, they claim (I guess what they don't know won't hurt them, huh?). These noxious superfans cling to their beloved repeat screenings of Gone with the Wind, Casablanca and Singin' in the Rain as though they were the only motion pictures…

In 1929, the German Reichstag voted to repeal Paragraph 175, a homophobic law that had been in place since 1871. It had been a part of German criminal law almost as long as there had been a country called Germany on the map. Predictably, the implementation of this repeal was halted by the rise of the Nazi party, and even more heartbreakingly, it was enforced on survivors of concentration camps at the end of World War II. It's worth noting that capitalist West Germany actually upheld additions Nazi Germany made to the law while communist East Germany repealed those additions almost immediately. However, there were no real heroes here, as the law wasn't actually repealed in its entirety until the…

If the headline “One of the earliest narrative films to explicitly portray homosexuality” doesn’t poke your interest in 2020 then I don’t know what will. This is seriously ground-breaking filmmaking. At a time in the 1930’s where this subject is basically forbidden the guts it took Leontine Sagan to make this is admirable...if only she could’ve made it more romantic than political. *sigh* I was really wanting to love this since I’m a fan of romance with same gender as long as it’s not shoved in your face and for propaganda reasons. The performances and the story is pretty well directed but I just couldn’t find it in me to believe the student and teacher was in love because there…

Before watching Mädchen in Uniform, I fell down a Wikipedia hole researching the impact of this film, as well as the fates of the cast and crew involved. The complete antithesis to the doctrine of hatred and subservience Germany was racing towards, Mädchen in Uniform is a brave expression of love and defiance. The impact this film had is highlighted by the way its stars, Hertha Thiele and Dorothea Wieck became something of early lesbian icons, receiving fan mail from all over Europe, mostly from women. Their on screen love was so popular, the two reunited in a kind of spiritual sequel, Anna and Elizabeth, in 1933. Directed by a Jewish woman, featuring an all female cast and written by…