Synopsis
Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back In The Tent...
Campers on a holiday are terrorized by an axe-wielding maniac.
1989 Directed by Robert C. Hughes
Campers on a holiday are terrorized by an axe-wielding maniac.
Son of Sleepaway Camp, Valley of Death, Memorial Day, Masacre en Memorial Valley, 纪念碑谷大屠杀, Резня в Мемориальной долине
What even is this ridiculousness?! I don’t know but I do love it. Since I got home from work, I’ve been studying for a huge exam I have tomorrow and it’s all just very not fun so this was exactly the movie I needed to end my day on a pleasant note. I actually went into this expecting some truly awful sub-Camp Blood level piece of SOV trash and what I got was still truly awful, but it has surprisingly decent production values for a no-name no-budget straight-to-VHS forgotten late 80’s slasher.
Things start out pretty much like any other camp in the woods slasher until we meet the killer who is like a legit modern-day caveman. Like, he’s grown…
"Memorial Valley Massacre" is a 1989 comedic slasher directed by Robert C. Hughes. This thing is about as pure rental store schlock as you can get in the delivery. Now saying that, it's not necessarily a bad thing, as honestly anyone advantageously seeking out to watching something like this should already know the experience they are getting into to by design. In a quick description of things, you are basically getting a set up like "The Hills Have Eyes" (1977) but none of the tense measure adds up because the people being terrorized are located at a very established State/National Park setting. "The Hills Have Eyes" had tensity because the tourists were traveling into "no-man's land" having no level of…
"AN AXIN PACKED ADVENTURE!"
Memorial Valley Massacre is such a stupid idiot but a genius stupid idiot at that. A late 80s mind melter of a slasher that relies solely on its ability to entertain. You don't come here to be scared or titilated. YOU COME HERE TO LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF AT THE KILLER WHO IS BASICALLY ENCINO MAN! BUT STUPIDER! LOOK AT HIM!
Yeah somehow an ancient caveman escaped from a million years ago to terrorize a bunch of loser campers. Dude acts exactlyyyyy like Encino Man jumping around and wiling out. Pokes sticks at 3 wheelers AND HAS ZERO SOCIAL SKILLS. I expected Pauly Shore to pop out any second and was eternally disappointed when he didn't!…
“You know, I’ve heard stories about this valley, but I never paid any attention until now.”
For fans of straight faced tongue in cheek horror like Jack Frost or Blood Hook. Mindless well shot low budget fun about some feral dude in a cave killing obnoxious campers. The killings are somewhat tame and it would have been beneficial for some more over the top action, but as with many other films from the second half of the 80’s, everything got watered down even for many indy films such as this. And as was consistent during most of the 80’s, Cameron Mitchell dialed another one in for a two minute segment. The most disturbing thing is the interview with the director, Robert…
August Horror 2020, Day 9, challenge #10 - Watch a sequel in name only
The best part of this movie is when a caveman tries to kill a dirtbike with a stick.
So someone tried to pass this off as "Son of Sleepaway Camp," even though it has nothing to do with kids' summer camp and everything to do with a killer caveman. Surprise twist, he's actually a cavelady! And she takes the bone out of her hair and she's hot! (not really) Aww yeah, Cameron Mitchell! And a raccoon, sweet. Wait, is Cameron Mitchell the raccoon? He can play anything! Nah this time in his two minutes onscreen he's the mayor from Jaws, or some kind of... campground mogul?…
Memorial Valley Massacre is about a bunch of unlikeable annoying campers, meeting thier deaths at the hands of a cave hermit, who looks like he bought his costume from Walmart. You have your stereotypical 80s characters...the unconvincing bikers, the chubby mama's boy, the hot teen girl, and some teenage metalhead idiots. I hated every one of these characters and looked forward to seeing them all die their cheesey death. As for gratuitous nudity, there’s a bra less wet t-shirt dance by the metal girl and a no nudity sex scene with the only two sensible people in the film. This also has some of the worst 80’s soundtrack music ever. It is incompetent and just weird enough to be funny and entertaining.
It's idiotic. And I liked it.
Where can I find the Son of Sleepaway Camp version?
The beautiful and pristine wilderness of Memorial Valley Campground is finally open for business on Memorial Day Weekend, despite a few construction setbacks. Unfortunately for the eager campers who have arrived on the site, the only people whom they will be memorializing are themselves, because a feral killer will soon be preying on them one by one. David, a new ranger assistant played by Mark Mears, is determined to look out for the campground at the insistence of his father, none other than the park owner himself, played by Cameron Mitchell (They Were Expendable), but he must first contend with the head ranger, played by John Kerry (Dolemite), who is harboring a dark secret. As the body count rises, by…
"Memorial Valley remains open."
Another entry in the "shitty capitalists keeping businesses open despite serious threat to the public" genre which feels maybe too real right now? Either way, this is pretty bad and it featured a scene where a bunch of snakes got into a cooler and I don't need that in my life at all.
Watchable, but with a cast of so many characters, you’d hope for better paced slashing. The kills aren’t particularly memorable or bloody either, nor is its caveman killer. He’s always out in the daytime, running around, sometimes being scared...like a feral person, perhaps, but as a slasher villain? I don’t think he works all that great.
I do love how Cameron Mitchell shows up at the beginning for one scene, lays down the law, and peaces out. What a legend.
“Buddy, you go back and tell that incompetent maaaaan...I can take care of myself.”
Added to: Vinegar Syndrome — D Edward Ranks
It's Memorial Day, and the campgrounds at Memorial Valley are opening up to the pubic, despite no water, power or roads. New hire David Sangster (Mark Mears) is constantly butting heads with his boss, Ranger George Webster (John Kerry) over whether or not the park should close, even as bodies start to turn up. Little do David and George and Deke (Jimmy Justice) and camper Cheryl (Lesa Lee) know that they've got an actual Eegah! lurking in the caves above the park, ready to attack anybody making a sound.
As a slasher, Memorial Valley Massacre kind of sucks. It's populated almost entirely by varying degree of assholes, it takes an extremely leisurely pace with anything resembling action and it's barely…