From the pages of my great-great grandfather's diary, Catharinus Johannes Hasselman; scholar, explorer and truth seeker.

August 5, 1834
Have finally arrived in Italy. After a harrowing journey I am more than ever determined to find out if the reports that have reached me are true. Could it be that the tome that is allegedly hidden underneath the ruins of the old Roman town Alveus Arbor really illuminates the nature of all evil? I am eager to find out. I shall rest first and replenish my weary body. Tomorrow I shall venture forth.

August 6, 1834
The sweltering heat is oppressive, nothing like the cold summers of my humble hometown. I have managed to acquire a mule. Perhaps mule is…

How do you even begin to describe how awful Movie 43 is? How is it possible, given its vast cast of talented actors and thirteen fucking directors, that nobody took a second to think that the supposed comedy they were making wasn’t remotely funny. Even given the film’s universal critical mauling I was still shocked by how appalling this cinematic abortion really was.

In this anthology of abysmal comedy sketches a crazy man (Dennis Quaid) pitches a series of ridiculous movie ideas to a reluctant producer (Greg Kinnear). Each of his oh so terrible ideas then forms the basis of a mini-movie as a single gag is run mercilessly into the ground. I can only imagine the real pitch for…

1. Uma Thurman in Batman & Robin
2. Halle Berry in Catwoman
3. Dennis Quaid in Vantage Point
4. Greg Kinnear in Loser
5. Emma Stone in Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past
6. Hugh Jackman in Van Helsing
7. Liev Schreiber in The Omen
8. Naomi Watts in Tank Girl
9. Richard Gere in Amelia
10. Kate Winslet in The Life Of David Gale
11. Seann William Scott in Cop Out
12. Johnny Knoxville in Men In Black II
13. Jack McBrayer in A Thousand Words
14. Elizabeth Banks in Swept Away
15. Christopher Mintz-Plasse in Marmaduke
16. Kieran Culkin in Margaret
17. Anna Faris in The Hot Chick
18. Kristen Bell in Couples Retreat
19. Patrick Warburton in Joe Somebody
20.…

I tried to write a review of this movie, but I couldn't get one off the ground. So here's a bunch of random sentences that flew through my mind as I watching it:

- We don't need a cure for AIDS, we need a cure for Movie 43.
- Ed Wood says "It's flawed."
- Emma Stone is in this movie. Fuck you, Emma Stone. *cries*
- Cinema's Vanilla Ice.
- The one movie who could use the expertise of Uwe Boll and Tommy Wiseau.
- If you watched this movie for free, you still overpayed.
- People get the flu, Cinema gets Movie 43.
- The movie that will give true meaning to the Razzies.
- Hitler performing stand-up…

In 1961 Italian artist Piero Manzoni canned his own feces in 90 different cans. One of the cans just sold for 125,000 euros.

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Dear Film Gods,

I don't know what else to say, except I'm sorry. I fall to my knees and beg your forgiveness for liking this film as much as I do. You know me. I'm still the same old guy you inspired all those years ago when I discovered for myself why film is the world's greatest art form. I'm still the same old guy whose favorite director is Michelangelo Antonioni, who makes sure people know about Battleship Potemkin every time Brian De Palma's version of The Untouchables comes up in a conversation, who wrote a…

all throughout the movie.... as most don't see the puns because they are too worried being shocked and awed by its grotesquely politically incorrect visuals and low brow gags. The jokes, as intended, has its dark filthy, vulgar humor that would facilitate weak stomachs to throw up with anxiety quiet quickly if you did not already choose to dismiss the film. I loved it plain and simple. And no, I don't know the filmmakers nor was I paid to say this.. I may as just well have a filthy mind just like them... kudos to the filmmaker for taking cinema where most won't. a real breath of fresh air unless you are smelling something rotting in the trash, yet trashy…