The Fass as a lawyer who fucks with the wrong mother fuckers in Ridley Scott's cluster-fuck. Pillow-talk. A finger-fuck. Fuckin' illegals. Expensive-as-fuck diamonds. A pool party. Taking a piss in the desert. The key to rapid-weight-loss is to eat dog food. A cool dog. Cool-as-fuck cheetahs. Holy fuckin' 1992; it's Rosie Perez. 206 MPH is fuckin' fast! Peterson speaks Portuguese. Polo, the sport not the clothing line. Carlos the priest. I'm going to fuck your car! Too gynecological to be sexy. Cum-cleaning socks. Extreme-decapitation. Brad's hat. The fuckin' Cartel. Javier's blank-eyes. Uncle fuckin' Hank! Grief is worthless. Ruben fuckin' Blades takes a nap. A rally for the missing. You can depend on Americans. Brad's ironic fate. Hola! You can sell diamonds on Mars. What a cast. What a fuckin' mess. The Razzie for the worst performance by an actress this decade goes to Cameron-I-fuck-cars-Diaz.

Cameron Diaz squeegees a windshield with her labia in this.

on second thought maybe I won't pursue a life of crime

Ridley Scott's The Counselor is a devilishly twisted and desolate morality play, supported with a screenplay of immaculate nihilism and dangerously sexy performances.

The direction is vibrant yet depressing, the deaths are both comic and disturbing, and the themes on display are playfully out of reach.

Michael Fassbender gives a sympathetic and layered perfomance, portraying an individual that doesn't understand his situation. His acting is incredible, and when he finally understands his situation, it's a moment that couldn't be more powerful.

Basically, this is Cormac Mccarthy at his most untamed. You thought No Country for Old Men was rough? At least hope is at the end of the tunnel in that film....

Yeah, stay away if you prefer happy movies.

And yet, Ridley Scott fills the film's canvas with a multitude of poetic imagery, most of which foreshadow and portray the utter hopelessness that surrounds these characters.

In short, it's underrated as hell.

Der Mut zur phlegmatischen Behäbigkeit, mit dem The Counselor um seine eigene Ereignislosigkeit herumtrudelt, ist ganz prima. Und der geringe Payoff bei unkonventionell angeschlossener Grausamkeit ein gelungener Tritt ins Gesicht derer, die an seiner zirkulierenden Erzählweise vorher schon rummeckerten.

So richtig gut funktionieren die Diaz als versuchte femme fatale und ihr prätentiöses Geparden-Blabla dann aber leider nicht, sondern sie nervt. Auch ist die pseudoexistenzielle Sexbesessenheit fast aller Figuren bei gleichzeitiger Hollywood-Bravheit eher peinlich. Schade.

Was in the mood for just a “garbage crime movie,” last night and decided to rewatch The Counselor and boy did I forget how trash this movie is. It’s fun as hell at times, but man, just a real stinker. 

I think what led me back to it was watching Sicario the other night and wanting something similar, but wasn’t in the right head space to watch No Country again, so settled on this. 

I guess there’s a few redeeming parts. I mean, you can’t say that the actors didn’t “go for it” in their parts. Bardem is like the definition of “going for it” in this. Pitt

It’s just undeservedly nihilistic, over-wrought, over acted. Bardem was a trip though and seedy Pitt is a great Pitt, but goddamn was Fassbender miss-casted. Think he’s a great actor, but the accent was trash and it felt like watching a sentient 2x4.

Scenariusz to przegadana, kiczowato-intelektualna przypowieść, która mogłaby nawet zagrać - ale nie w rękach takiego rzeźnika jak Scott. FATALNY Fassbend

Ooof. This was underwhelming considering who was in front of and behind the camera.  Pretty terrible script. First half was all over the place, middle sort of figured it out and then a super depressing ending.

Don’t think there’s ever been a second in my life where Cameron Diaz has endeared herself to me. Here, that streak continues. But the highest compliment I can give to The Counselor is it makes her unhinged, ratchet, self-satisfied energy palatable. Then you put together three of Hollywood's most notorious Lotharios to really bring out the sleaze. As greedy business partners who set their own downfall in motion, Michael Fassbender, Javier Bardem, and Brad Pitt have a feast in this fatalistic black comedy of errors. Not that there's much competition but I'd honestly say it's the third or fourth best movie Ridley Scott's made in the past two decades. It takes a certain pleasure in crossing the line. Two words: Chekhov's garrote. 7/10 cautionary stones

The bleak hopelessness of finding oneself in an an unreasonable world. Things once relied on, money, attractiveness, charm, logic, mercy, all are disregarded. There is no reasoning with them, only acceptance of the magnitude of the choices that led you here. 

This is one of Ridley Scott’s best films and its unlike any other film. Slick, star-studded and nihilistic. Fassbender’s descent into a world that is entirely out of his control is difficult to watch in ways that I haven’t before experienced. 

Watch this, it’s not normal.

It's hated much but there is a grey area of perspective where you can totally enjoy it & it's so worth it

Readers of Cormac McCarthy, who wrote the script for the convoluted new thriller The Counselor, might ask who this movie’s Ultimate Evil is, the Judge Holden, the Chigurh, the suzerain of the earth, silent and serene....

[Read the rest here.]

Some amazing deaths in this movie . A great Fassbender performance in a very compelling even if sometimes confusing movie . 
Way better than I expected.

Lol this movie is funny but feels ways too long since it somehow succeeded in neutralizing any trace of tension that was created by whatever the story is about. Stilted dialogue amidst a bunch of disconnected scenes involving some really lawl characters who are all completely offbeat. Diaz plays some sort of cat spirit who fucks a car?

...with the "feature length hybrid of video featurettes and audio commentary by Director/Producer Ridley Scott" entitled Truth of the Situation: Making of The Counselor.

The intellectual and aesthetic equivalent of Red Bull and vodka. Loathesome. Everyone sucks. Fassbender’s accent is cartoonish. Diaz and Bardem are absolute clowns—Bardem is merely embarrassing; Diaz is so bad it almost hurts. Brad Pitt is watchable but speaks in dumb riddles and dresses like Alan Jackson at a wedding. God, what a waste of a budget, and some talented people, and some decent cinematography. Oh, and also two hours. 

Why are there cheetahs in this movie?