idiots will call this a staggering retelling of the myth of prometheus through the eyes of the american laborer, the fire of the gods becoming success under capitalism, an unattainable fiction that drives men to maddened violence in their pursuit

geniuses will understand that this is a movie about getting drunk and almost kissing ur homie and then getting even drunker and tenderly holding each other as you drift off to sleep

filthy and delicious. a swirling maelstrom of horrific rage and loneliness and repression and repulsion and secrets and piss and phalluses and greek tragedy and unrelenting, all-consuming, inescapable horniness. 

toppled head over mermaid tail in love with this one in the first few minutes and never once wanted it to end, which is that rare and divine feeling i’m constantly hoping for when the theater lights dim. absolutely cannot wait to watch it with subtitles so i can understand a single line of dialogue <3

dinner with papaw tonight...❤️ he made 12 lobsters for all 6 wickies and only one showed. 😢 love him

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

not a cell phone in sight. just guys being dudes

It was clear the moment both actors appeared on the screen that this was going to be something special. To put it simply, this is the result of everyone behind the film being on the same page and doing their absolute best. It’s not something where I can pick my favorite aspect, it’s all overwhelmingly good. It was clear throughout the film that this was not the end of this experience, with sounds and images so specific and beautiful that I don’t see them leaving my head anytime soon. 
It was clear the moment the credits rolled that this is going to go down as a classic. The campaign to get both Pattinson and Dafoe an Oscar starts now.

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

Robert Eggers drenched in sweat running to his desk, scratching down quickly in his notebook only this: 

mussy (mermaid pussy)

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

thomas: yer fond of me lobster ain’t ye??? 😢

winslow: are ye in the right headspace to receive information that could possibly hurt ye

the way willem dafoe spends five minutes cursing robert pattinson bc he keeps saying he doesnt like his cooking.... cinema!

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

what i said while watching this movie “it’s like getting pecked to death by birds”

prometheus retellings are always at least rly interesting

i absolutely adore eggers' ability to entrance the viewer with his dream sequences all the strange montages or just bizarre shit in both this and the witch are enrapturing

absolutely clueless as to what any of it meant but i did enjoy it

weirdest episode of SpongeBob i've ever seen

Quirky for sure, but the acting and concept was really cool

men are weird this movie made me even more lesbian

Mermaids really exist? Maybe our vampire Pattison could discover it

Straight garbage with mermaid coochie

chato pra cacete so o final salva

Laugh more each rewatch and especially love showing this to my unaware friends

If Wes Anderson directed a noir horror, this would be it. 

An intense story based on a classic folk tale. Simple storytelling. A rookie and an old hat, a lighthouse, rum, and sea shanties. Wanking over a mermaid toy? Nothing is out of the question when you’re stuck in a lighthouse for weeks. 

The two men slowly lose their sanity as the film progresses and there’s definitely a bit too much gas passed and a lot of barking, but no dogs. Woof woof. 

In conclusion, it’s not gay to kiss the homies goodnight.

May need anothe rewatch; solid film about isolation is what I gathered - definitely more to it. Great performances

i am giving this movie zero stars because i fucking watched it with my mom