lady bird... but hornier

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

The Miseducation of Nancy Wheeler

nancy wheeler
usually on her catholic kneeler
goes on aol and gets a feeler
when she starts to feel her [redacted]
which she tries to concealer
and jesus camp tries to heal her
but with the buzz buzz of her nokia
ends up a
nancy squealer

leonardo dicaprio in titanic was also my sexual awakening

hits different if you went to a catholic school that forced you to go to multiple religious retreats where you had to socialize with everyone and say what you learned at the end of the day like if you weren’t having the worst time of your life there. and also if leonardo dicaprio in titanic was your sexual awakening

“We pretended each marshmallow was a different mortal sin before burning it. Yours was lust”

What a bitch.

🔇 AYO NANCY WHEELER 🔇 WHAT ARE YOU DOIIING 🔇 PUT THAT MOP DOWN 🔇

Moral of the story: it is okay if you’re horny

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

what is it with teenagers in films masturbating when they know someone could walk into the room at any given time

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

Yes, God, Yes. It's a fun short time, after watching The Godfather and Heat it's a good light watch, sort of ladybird- esque. Some really funny moments!

Don't watch it with your mom

Hahahah

I've got all the time in the world for films about innocence corrupted via AOL chat. This gets the early 2000s details as right as it does the hypocrisy of Jesus youth retreat, faith-based cluelessness; making so little sense as they try so hard to be down with the kids they're selling abstinence to, that it's all too deeply pathetic to read as sinisterly zealous as other mind-melding camps seen on film.

These people who want to deny kids all their natural sexual impulses (which find a way of breaking out all over camp outside of class anyway) are no different from those sixth form drama classes expecting you all to sit in a circle and take turns revealing your darkest secrets and buried trauma as a tenuous exercise in understanding and getting into character, an exercise just as masturbatory as the sexual pleasure discovered by the film's shielded protagonist in the opening scenes.

fun and a quick watch, the facial expressions were spot on but natalia dyer’s character was so bland... idk i feel like there was rlly no personality there 😁🤌

Coming from experience, the feeling of hiding your phone during a church retreat is such an unrivaled rush. 

Besides cults, hypocrisy within the Christian faith is also one of my biggest pet peeves, and I really liked how it was sort-of called out in this film.

Tackles religous sexual repression very sincerely (and relatably yikes) while also being a kinda great sex comedy? Gotta give credit for accomplishing both AND keeping a sub 90 min runtime.

Some of the high school relationship dynamics made me cringe at their accuracy more than I expected to goddammit

hope that lesbian that drives that motorcycle has a good day

not lady bird. :/

NO, GOD, NO

I don't believe in God.
But thank God for lesbian biker chicks who can talk sense into confused 17 year olds.

For some reason the early 2000s thing that I freaked out the most at was the link for Yahoo Auctions

A fun movie with a lot of retability for those of us raised Catholic in that time

I like that this movie isn’t very long and never overstays it’s welcome. It’s just a fun time with a lot of funny and cringe moments. Some times it was little painful to watch, but that is definitely what they were going for.