• Open 24 Hours

    Open 24 Hours

    ★★★

    I’m not one to usually advocate for the use of post-modernist appeals in horror films, but this movie could have benefited from a touch of irony, dark humor, or some indication of structural awareness. Most of the action occurs in one location, the protagonist struggles with hallucinations/flashbacks, and every character that shows up in the first half of the movie pops back up for the second half; with so many elements that border on tedium you’d think there would be room…

  • The Altar of Lust

    The Altar of Lust

    Man, this is sleazy. The lead actress had visible bug bites from rolling around in the grass so much during her sex scenes. The rapist step dad looked like a pickled drunk Brad Dourif; I gagged when they showed a close up of his Hank Hill ass cheeks squeezing together to indicate that he’s thrusting. And he had gross old man boxers that got all bunched up when he was pulling up his drawers after he finished. Totally disgusting. I thought this was going to have Satanists! Where was the altar???

  • The Beast in Heat

    The Beast in Heat

    The nastiest video nasty. There’s a shot in this where a naked guy (flopping dick and everything) is being dunked into a vat of water while a Nazi is whipping him, in the background a monster in a cage is raping a woman from behind - quite a tableau! All the performers in this seem like street alcoholics or actual sex workers. The credits are 100% pseudonyms. I don’t know if watching Beast in Heat is a “cry for help” or not.

  • Penitentiary II

    Penitentiary II

    ★★★★★

    This has an "only 80s kids will remember" dream cast - Mr. T, Winston from Ghostbusters, the teacher from Gremblins, but also some cameos from a young Tony "Bad Santa" Cox, Rudy Ray Moore (credited as Rudolph Ray Moore!) and a bunch of folks from Penitentiary one. It doesn't disappoint. I loved this one as a kid and it still PACKS A PUNCH!

  • TNT Jackson

    TNT Jackson

    ★★★★

    “The name’s Jackson. TNT Jackson. It’s stands for trinitrotoluene. Some folks call me C₆H₂(NO₂)₃CH₃ Jackson “

    None of the Americans were any good at the chops or kicks, but they could mean mug with the best of em. Don’t expect much. Four stars, though.

  • Son of Godzilla

    Son of Godzilla

    ★★★

    Son looks like if Patrick Starfish was a Ghoulie

  • Black Shampoo

    Black Shampoo

    ★★★★

    Wild as fuck. I tried to watch this back in the day, but the VHS at the place I worked was broken. This is like a Spain Rodriguez comic from the 70s because Mr. Jonathan screws like 7 women a day and does all this jaw dropping action hero shit, but he never loses his cool. John Daniels would have been a great Trashman. Minus one star because I wanted to see more crazy hairstyles since so much of it takes place in a salon.

  • The Banana Man

    The Banana Man

    ★★★

    Not really Kelley's best, he hadn't fleshed out his techniques or ideas yet, but did more than some performance artists turned videographers/filmmakers. I think the idea of The Banana Man being an interpretation of a kids show character from a show that Kelley only heard about through friends as a child is interesting, but he explores it through detaching the viewer from the character with confounding narration. Banana Man is a buffoon like Zippy the Pinhead, but in existential pain…

  • Time Out For Sport

    Time Out For Sport

    ★★★★★

    Cathode Cinema's Twitch stream last night was all avant garde shorts, I didn't have time to watch for long but I was able to catch a few. This was a dazzling discovery for me, a saturated lightshow of colors and sounds and words all exploding from a centralizing subject - a seconds long news clip of a sports commentator. I'd never heard of the Australian director Paul Winkler and would have probably never discovered this otherwise. One thing about the…

  • Mad Love

    Mad Love

    ★★★★★

    Peter Lorre is the pervert's pervert, the ur-incel - as bald as an egg and dabbed with sweat beads as sticky as morning dew on a blade of grass. He goes to see a play every night to ogle his favorite actress, but this isn't a normal stage production, this play is a horrorshow where the object of his obsession is tied up and tortured. He goes so far as to procure a wax replica of her for his home…

  • The Body Beneath

    The Body Beneath

    ★★★★

    One thing you’ve gotta give Andy, his hunchbacks always have a tragic backstory. I love how psychedelic this is and I also love the way that men kiss women in Milligan movies- peck peck peck

  • Color Out of Space

    Color Out of Space

    ★★★

    I think Richard Stanley got a boost in prestige because his Island of Dr. Moreau was taken away from him and the resulting film sucked, so it seemed like he was a misunderstood visionary that the studios couldn't wrangle. Sorry, that movie was going to suck no matter who directed it and Stanley was LUCKY to get out in time to save his reputation. (By the way, Jodorowsky's Dune was going to suck, too.) His return to cinema is just…