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  • Beyond the Valley of the Dolls

    Beyond the Valley of the Dolls

    ★★★★★

    "Ere this night does wane, you will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!"

    What on Earth, Roger Ebert, you weird fucker!?! People can think of him as their favorite film critic of all time but I will always think of you as the screenwriter for this film.

    Beyond the Valley of the Dolls is in my Top 10 films of all time. And, really, can you blame me? Directed by tit master, Russ Meyer, this film has absolutely everything…

  • Q

    Q

    ★★★★

    Larry and I go way back... Bone, fuck yes. Yaphet Kotto is amazing. Black Caesar and Hell Up in Harlem, check. Its Alive and God Told Me To <nods head>.

    In Q: The Winged Serpent, Larry gives me everything I could want: I've got Michael Moriarty acting like his fucking life depended on it. I've got mayhem on the streets of NYC. I've got a female FLYING SERPENT eating the shit out of people. What more could a girl ask for?

    Oh wait, this movie has Ron "The Penguin" Cey from my beloved 70s Dodgers. Thank you, Larry. No, really, thank you.

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  • Battle Royale

    Battle Royale

    ★★★★

    Every boy in this movie looks like he is a character straight from anime. Man, I hate that hairstyle. Then and now.

    Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games) says she was inspired to write The Hunger Games after the poverty she saw in Iraq during the war. Uh huh.

    Is anyone else buying that bullshit?

    Still a great movie 14 years later.

  • Nosferatu

    Nosferatu

    ★★★★

    I cannot EVEN imagine what the audiences thought of this film in 1922. Max Schrek is horrifying. I have to believe more than one person ran out of the theatre screaming. Hell, people were barely used to watching films let alone see this fucking freak looking at you. Yeeesh!

    I love this film. This is always a go-to for showing on one of the television screens at a Halloween party.