Black Christmas

Black Christmas

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

I hate to say it, but I really do miss the days of Platinum Dunes rebooting the iconic slashers.

At least those were cinematic.

At least they had interesting and distinctive direction.

At least they didn’t seem to hold active contempt for the audience (Well, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning did, but that aside)

Black Christmas (2019) is directed (and subsequently acted) like a Lifetime movie. There is absolutely none of what made the Bob Clark classic work. It doesn’t even have the gruesome uneasiness of the underrated 2006 remake. It’s a slick, cynical corporate piece of garbage just like Halloween (2018) was.

If this is the best Blumhouse can do for Billy (who’s not in this film, by the way) and Michael, maybe Mr. Voorhees is better off at the bottom of Crystal Lake instead of in the hands of these studio hacks.

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