funkshoi has written 8 reviews for films rated ★½ .

  • The House That Jack Built

    The House That Jack Built

    ★½

    A dull, conversation on morality, art and violence that makes no headway and treads water for an eternity.  

    +1 star for cinematography 
    +1/2 star because they said the title name in the movie lol

  • Zack Snyder's Justice League

    Zack Snyder's Justice League

    ★½

    Lord of the Rings but make it Axe body spray. 

    The desperation for Warner Media to make the DC comics franchise as entertaining as Marvel is palpable and cringe-worthy. 
    While the Marvel movies are also exhausting, they never take themselves as seriously and feel like they know they’re in on the joke.
    DC does not know there is a joke. It’s like someone told DC to get lost, and then they did. Then they made this 5 hour thing.

  • House of 1000 Corpses

    House of 1000 Corpses

    ★½

    Not enough corpses.

  • Geostorm

    Geostorm

    ★½

    You know what kind of ride you’re strapping in for when they say the movie title in the movie. So when they say it 40 times, then you better believe it’s 40X as good. Right?

  • Pet Sematary

    Pet Sematary

    ★½

    It was scary, but total and utter nonsense. Like listening to a 2hr Trump rally speech while fireworks kept going off near your head would also be scary.

  • Captain America: Civil War

    Captain America: Civil War

    ★½

    Every nonsense motive and bizarre plot device was all geared toward framing up the poster of this movie. The entirety of this could’ve just been summed up in the mid-credit bonus scene of the previous movie.

  • Avengers: Age of Ultron

    Avengers: Age of Ultron

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Pretty disappointed with this one. I usually like Joss Whedon’s Buffy-esque amount of camp sprinkled around a plot to keep things lighthearted and to defuse drama. But this time around it felt misplaced. 
    Like if a truly vicious Bond villain suddenly ventured into Austin Powers territory, but in the third act for some reason.

  • The Shape of Water

    The Shape of Water

    ★½

    cringey mess drowning in half baked ideas. Del Torro should stick to monster robot blockbusters like Pacific Rim. The guy is an anime writing weeb.